Malignant narcissists do not simply or easily go away. In romantic relationships, extricating oneself from a narcissist is difficult and fraught with danger. After all, narcissists are capable of creating great turmoil, chaos, and fear. Donald Trump is a malignant narcissist. Although the reality is that he has lost the election, our extrication from him is just beginning. Trump’s pathology is still front and center. And he is still abusing us.
Trump is clamoring that he is the victim of voter fraud. He believes that Democrats are stealing the election from him. He cannot fathom the possibility that he has been repudiated by the American people. In his mind, the only way he could have lost is if he were the object of nefarious intent and actions. He will try to punish all non-supporters for their lack of blind loyalty to him.
Trump’s pathology is not rooted in reality. As most narcissists do, he has constructed an alternative universe for himself—one that keeps his grandiose and superior self-image intact. Millions of Americans have bought into his alternative universe despite massive evidence to the contrary. Their allegiance to him is for a variety of reasons, many of which are illogical and conspiracy-based.
Trump will never voluntarily abandon his grandiose and false self-image. He will not leave us on his own. We must extricate ourselves from him. And he will make that difficult and painful as hell.
The Trump campaign is planning to initiate a messaging blitz to gin up support for his voter fraud allegations. Trump is considering the possibility of holding voter fraud rallies. He has already filed at least 10 lawsuits in the courts of several states, especially Pennsylvania. He is defiantly refusing to concede the election to his rival Joe Biden—despite losing the popular vote by more than 4 million votes.
Trump has a scorched earth mentality now. He does not care that divisions and chaos are being exacerbated by his refusal to concede. He does not want to disappear from the political scene—that is contrary to his narcissistic need for attention and adulation. Of course, it is all about Trump and his needs. What is best for the American people is not in his personal and political calculus. He could not care less than the American people are holding their collective breaths to see what stunts he pulls in order to remain in control and influential.
A normal person would concede the election. A normal person would assert the intention to facilitate a peaceful transition of power to Joe Biden. A normal person would express gratitude for the chance to have served the people. Unfortunately, malignant narcissists are not normal in their thinking, feeling, or behavior. Donald Trump is no exception.
Trump’s pathology and abuse of the American people have become normalized. That is what dictators with malignant narcissism hope for—that the public will begin to view them as normal when, in fact, they are psychiatrically disordered with strong authoritarian leanings. Trump is not normal and his abuse of the American people is ongoing as we speak.
We must extricate ourselves from Donald Trump. He has lost the election and his power over us will be formally ended on January 20, 2021.
We must not tolerate Trump’s continued abuse of us. It is trauma. It is traumatizing. It is destructive to our mental health and our unity as a nation. But Trump—the malignant narcissist—is not just going to walk away quietly.
We must marginalize Donald Trump now. He must be dismissed. He must be ignored. His grumblings and blather must be considered white noise in the background. We must remain focused on the optimism and competence that Joe Biden is bringing to our country. Biden is our president-in-waiting who is off and running in tacking the pandemic. He is visible, strong, and with a clear vision of unity. Healing is a top priority for him.
Trump’s pathology must be stopped from impacting the public. We must go on with our lives and trust that the guardrails of our Constitution will corral Trump in his last 72 days.
Malignant narcissists only go away when people force them to. Donald Trump is desperate to remain in power. He is desperate for praise and adulation. He is desperate to avoid embarrassment and humiliation. He is desperate to stay in the minds of the American people.
Our repudiation of Trump must remain clear and firm. The election data are compelling. He will go away once he understands that we are done with him. Our boundaries do not include him.
Now is our chance to rid ourselves of Donald Trump. It is in our hands—not his.