The Nativity Story
Today is the celebration of the birth of Our Lord and Hustler, Barack Hussein Obama, the new Liberal Messiah. Sorry, Al Gore, but we are constitutionally required by Liberitical law to take an underqualified black Messiah over more qualified white ones.
As we celebrate the new covenant between mankind and our race baiting Savior, let us look back and learn his story. Barack Obama was born in Hawai'i on August 4, 1961. He was simultaneously born in Saudi Arabia, Kenya, Australia and on the Moon. There are birth certificates for each.
The Five Obamas of Fury, although a blessing to an earth in desperate need of guidance and salvation, could not all simultaneously stand as beacons to a mankind crying in desperate need for a senator from Illinois whose focus was on passing landmark ethics reform and nuclear proliferation legislation. As it was prophesied.
So, on August 4, 1966 (also the day on which false prophet John Lennon declared his Beatles more popular than Jesus), the five Obamas were brought to the First Indonesian Church of Obama (also known as Obama's house) and there did a miracle happen! The five Obamas in a bright flash of light became one...and then disappeared!
The newly whole Obama was sent back to the origin of time by...well, by himself, because that's the way Barack Obama rolls. (Thus, incidentally, is the genesis of the rap group Jurassic 5's name.) The reason Barack Obama understands his place in history is because he has literally experienced all of history - personally. The whole presidency thing is just kind of a lark, really.
Upon his arrival back in 1966, Obama made his ageless form back into that of a five-year old, so as not to startle the minds of disbelievers. That leads us to today, where Obama is set to realize his true destiny as Mesus, the Uppity, Narcissistic Messiah. Obama is infinite and endless, and you cannot stop him - you cannot even hope to contain him. Come and drink of his drank and eat of his chicken nuggets.
Today is the day we rejoice in the coldly dismissive shadow of Mesus. Gather, all ye faithful, and donate within the ordained FEC regulations. Praise be to Mesus.

I forgot to post this hilarity up -- the fundies at
He continues with a blow-by-blow account of the proceedings, profusely backhanding pro-repeal legislators; what's amusing is how he pumps up his ego by mentioning that his pitiful work at MASSResistance is indirectly cited.



Maureen, I was
Jonah Goldberg takes it into his hands to
It's long been a philosophy of mine that the main purpose of comments pages on newspaper and cable news sites is to justify the inherent feeling of wounded journalistic superiority that seems to peek through every so often. By ensuring that there's a forum which will more likely than not attract someone with a penchant for using the word "nigger" in all caps to describe the subject of your piece (and/or send in a bizarrely-worded death threat involving Hedy Lamarr and a cheese grater), it also ensures that you're constantly validated in your view of yourself as the victim of the constant slings and arrows of your profession, standing up to the onslaught of pissed-off office workers e-mailing you on their morning breaks.
In what is clearly seen as a Custer's Last Stand for the professional homophobe set, someone at the Tupelo, Mississippi-based gay-hating American Family Association managed to pry $500K from the miserly, decrepit "Christian" hands of Don Wildmon to underwrite the pro-Prop 8 activities of ProtectMarriage.com. (
Marc and I decided the theme for our housewarming party is going to be "Fuck It, We're Staying", a sentiment inspired by the recent moves of some friends out of the state, and just a general willfulness in an era where we're supposed to choose between red states and blue states. It's a celebration of things Texas---the food, the beer, the salsa, and the music. On the last one, I've got a pretty solid list going, but could always use more inspiration. So, Pandagonian, are there Texas musicians and bands you like? Country, rock, hip-hop---I'm for it all. Vent your favorites in comments.