I sh*t you not. Take a surf over to Mike Signorile's pad. GOP sleazebag consultant Roger Stone wants to shop around a tape of Crist kissing a woman -- gasp -- to prove the Florida governor is heterosexual. Oh my, people, this is desperation city. The GOP faithful must have a woody for Charlie in that VP slot.

How interested is Florida Governor Charlie Crist in being John McCain's VP runningmate? So much so that veteran GOP dirty trickster Roger Stone -- who coordinated a few dirty stunts in support of Crist during the 2006 gubernatorial campaign -- is quietly peddling a so-called "Charlie Crist sex tape." That's what Stone called it during a telephone conversation. And no, it is not a tape of Crist having sex with a guy. In fact, it isn't even X-rated. The video was seemingly staged to kill the rumors that Crist is gay. Stone claims the tape -- which he discussed recently with Politics1, but didn't show to us ("I'm saving it for the national shows") -- "shows Charlie fooling around in a hotel elevator with his girlfriend ... They're making out." Adds Stone: "It was captured on a security camera in the elevator" last month. And Stone just conveniently happens to have a copy of the hotel's elevator surveillance tape, just when Crist's name is in play for the VP spot. Hmm. As for Crist's purported girlfriend -- presuming it is the same one he took as his date to the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC a few weeks ago -- she's still married (and not to Crist).

I guess the whole boinking-the-adulteress thing doesn't cause concern in the morally bankrupt GOP these days -- desperate times call for desperate measures. I think the whole hetero-randy Crist tape will be a hard sell considering what's already floating out there on the Internets, peeps. Like this. Or this:

And Charlie also has to look out for The Peter, who is on a mission to decloset Crist.

We called the Florida Governor’s office to ask if the governor is a homosexual or bisexual, and whether he has ever engaged in homosexual behavior — odd questions, to be sure, but necessary ones in this situation. We did not hear back.

H/t, Towleroad.