I hereby challenge any clear-eyed, level-headed conservative blogger who really knows what torture is to draw up a list of things that aren't torture when done to brown people, and have them done to them by trained professionals. After all, waterboarding, like so many other things, is no more than discomfort trumped up as "torture" by pansy liberals.

This is the best part of the post, by the way:

I can see agreeing to waterboarding for an article like the one Hitchens was writing.

On the other hand, crippling electric shocks, probably not.

Just like racism isn't racism unless someone's hanging from a tree, torture isn't really torture unless you can't walk or use the bathroom voluntarily afterward. You get the sense that if the Malkin crowd had written the Constitution, the Bill of Rights would only have three amendments:

  • More God.
  • More guns.
  • Fuck you.