In an awesome show of tastelessness, Ross Douthat has decided to use today's column to continue his single-minded vendetta against the women of America, and our enablers who wrongly believe that women should own ourselves.

The right tends to blame the left for the Supreme Court’s expanded ambit, and not unjustly. The modern Court’s most enduringly controversial power grabs — with Roe v. Wade leading the way — were usually the work of liberal justices, and even the more modest liberal theories of jurisprudence tend to depict the Justices as soldiers in the progressive cause, constrained primarily by what the political climate allows them to get away with.

You know, I'm so used to seeing conservatives claim that liberating women by limiting state control over our reproductive functions is a "power grab", so I tend to gloss over it. But if you think about it, really, it's quite possibly the most incoherent wingnut position to date, and that's even when you take the "Obama's got a jihad against car dealerships" into consideration. But reading Douthat, I have clarity. Apparently, conservatives understand the struggle as that between the rightful owners of uteruses (conservative men, who know how to use a firm and punishing hand against women) and illegitimate thieves (the federal government, which has stolen Douthat's rightful uterine property and spoiled the silly women by allowing us to run around contraceptin' and abortin' in much the way a bad dog owner can't stop his dog from peeing on the carpet). The idea of liberty for women just doesn't compute.