FXX late-night talk show host W. Kamau Bell tried to settle the question of the existence of God for once and for all on Tuesday with a debate between two comedians, believer John Fugelsang and atheist Jamie Kilstein.
Fugelsang explained that his mother was an ex-nun and his father was a Franciscan brother so he had come to view Jesus much like Elvis: "I love the guy, but a lot of the fan clubs really freak me out."
"I think a lot of times the mistake we make is confusing God and religion, and thinking they are the same thing," he pointed out. "You look at the character of Jesus, and he scares the hell out the conservatives even today."
"If Jesus came back today, you wouldn't be able to hear him talk over Christians calling him a socialist," Fugelsang added. "He was a peaceful, radical, non-violent revolutionary, hung out with lepers and crooks, never spoke English, wasn't an American citizen, anti-wealth, ant-death penalty, anti-public prayer... never anti-gay, never anti-abortion, never anti-premarital sex, long-haired, brown-skinned -- that's in Revelation, Kirk Cameron -- brown-skinned, homeless, Middle Eastern Jew."
"If that guy was real, I would totally hang out with him," Kilstein joked.
"So my take is if I get up to Heaven and there is a God and he's like, 'You were wrong, how did you live your life?'" Kilstein noted. "And I'm like, 'I tried to help people, I tried to give to charity, I didn't know if you were real, there was no evidence.'"
"And he was like, 'Well, you didn't worship me everyday.' And I'm like, 'Fine. Send me wherever is as far away from here as possible because you're a sociopath!'"
Watch this video from FXX's Totally Biased, broadcast Sept. 11, 2013.