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Jon Stewart mocks John Boehner: House GOP you claim to control told you to ‘kissy-face their ass’

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Daily Show host Jon Stewart ripped House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) on Monday for apparently losing control of his own members in the dispute over funding the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).

“It’s as though the caucus that you, John Boehner, purport to control has told you to [kiss] their ass,” Stewart said, making ironic “kissy-face” noises to replicate Boehner’s display toward the press corps late last week.

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Stewart said Boehner was “overconfident to the point of weirdness” as the House GOP stonewalled their own Senate colleagues after they passed a federal budget that provided funding for not only the department, but President Barack Obama’s executive order on immigration.

Just three months promising to be able to govern effectively in the wake of their pulling a “Red Wedding” on Democrats last November, Stewart noted, it took a last-minute vote to pass a stopgap bill funding DHS until this coming Friday.

“This finally answers the question, where is the turd clogging our legislative plumbing? They’re called House Republicans,” he argued. “Everything was gonna run smoothly if we had a Republican Senate with a Republican House. Turns out no one can work with a Republican House — they’re the Keith Olbermann of Congresses.”

He also noted the irony of Republicans vowing to cut off funding for DHS amid a seemingly endless series of statements forecasting doom for the U.S. from outside enemies.

“That’s really like saying, ‘You know, you kids are too horny and oversexed — so your mother and I have decided to take away all of your clothes. And from now on, if your friends wanna visit you, they’ve gotta do it in our basement, on the couch, without supervision, next to the cabinet while this Barry White album is playing,'” Stewart said.

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Watch Stewart’s commentary, as posted online on Monday, below.

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John Oliver unleashes on news sites that sent out stupid push notifications

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"Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver doesn't come back until Feb. 16, but he dropped a new web-exclusive video Sunday complaining to news agencies that they should stop sending out stupid push notifications on their apps.

Oliver told his audience that there are two major criteria when considering a push notification: 1. Is there something I should be doing differently?; and 2. Is this something I need to know now?

Things like declarations of war, earthquakes or acts of terrorism are all perfect examples of things news agencies should inform readers about quickly. But when CNN sent out a push notification about a 115,000 Neanderthal child that was only found "half-eaten" by a bird, Oliver was understandably frustrated.

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Chief Justice John Roberts is far from the impartial savior Democrats are hoping he’ll be: PBS host

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During an MSNBC panel discussion Sunday evening, Alexander Heffner, PBS host of "The Open Mind," cautioned against putting faith in Chief Justice John Roberts.

In an interview with Rev. Al Sharpton, Heffner outlined why Roberts' impartiality isn't exactly what Democrats think it is.

"But I'm tired of hearing about Chief Justice Roberts impartiality, this idea that he's some kind of paragon of constitutional order," Heffner said. "The proof is in the pudding. The reality is this Supreme Court had an opportunity to review the cases about whether the public should have access to Trump's business and personal tax returns, whether the public should have the testimony of [John] Bolton and company."

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Ken Starr is an awful choice for Trump’s legal team because he’ll look like a hypocrite: Former federal prosecutor

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President Donald Trump has a severe hypocrisy problem, and it has extended to his legal team. In a CNN explainer answering legal questions from viewers, former state and federal prosecutor Eli Honig explained that the choice of Ken Starr for Trump's legal team was a terrible idea.

Trump has chosen lawyers that are like a Fox News legal discussion panel. Pat Cipollone, Alan Dershowitz, Robert Wray, Pam Bondi and Jay Sekulow are all key people Trump has called on to defend him. But one person stands out, Honig explained. Ken Starr.

"He may emerge as a symbol of hypocrisy," Honig said. "He was the independent counsel who pursued Bill Clinton in the 1990s. Ken Starr turned over Heaven and Earth in his investigation of Bill Clinton. He talked to everyone who ever had known Monica Lewinsky, ex-boyfriends, teachers, window washers. And here he's going to say you shouldn't be hearing from primary witnesses?"

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