Twitter nails conservative Christians with #ThingsJesusNeverSaid — and it’s hilarious
With Easter approaching this weekend — the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ accompanied by an egg hunt followed by eating chocolate bunnies and marshmallow peeps — Twitter was alive with contributions to #ThingsJesusNeverSaid.
Whether by coincidence or Divine Providence, the week leading up to one of Christianity’s holiest days has been filled by a national conversation over Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act.
While some have called the law discriminatory towards the LGBT community, others insist that it is a matter of personal religious freedom and values that should not be compromised by having to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding celebration.
Additionally, there has been a great deal of discussion this week whether it is a sin to cater a gay wedding with pizza, since the delicious oven-baked concoction is not mentioned either by Jesus, or in the Bible.
A selection of tweets and memes — many pizza-related — below:
"Pray to me. I will make the gay go away." #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Scott Wooledge (@Clarknt67) April 3, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid My credit card will deny me three times before it goes through.
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) April 2, 2015
People deemed criminals definitely deserve to be murdered by the State. That's basically the point of my whole story. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Occupy Wall Street (@OccupyWallStNYC) April 2, 2015
— Pin Head (@TomAdelsbach) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid I can't run in these sandals.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) April 2, 2015
Let History Remember Me as a White Man with Blue Eyes. Fair Skinned, Like Most from the Middle-East… #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— TheNewDeal (@TheNewDeal) April 2, 2015
— Roberto Marroquín (@elcitizen1) April 2, 2015
My Father only loves some of you and they can have pizza. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Goldie Taylor (@goldietaylor) April 2, 2015
— Aaron Worthing (@AaronWorthing) April 2, 2015
Do not turn the other cheek. Get your guns and settle your differences like real men. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Aღanda (@GrnEyedMandy) April 2, 2015
Since this is our last supper, let's take a selfie. This will be legendary. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Steven R. Walker (@Steve_R_Walker) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid Nailed It
— Suzy (@Choosiesooze05) April 2, 2015
I've only got 12 followers. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Glenn Wiens (@GlennWiens) April 2, 2015
I got 3 fish and 4 buns. Someone isn't getting a fish sandwich. #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Bob Dobalina (@redbuddhadojo) April 2, 2015
I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico #thingsjesusneversaid
— Aaron FitzPatrick (@CN_AaronF) April 2, 2015
God Bless America #thingsJesusneversaid
— Shane Fuller (@OAOSFuller) April 2, 2015
— Gary G (@aGaryG) April 2, 2015
— Charley Kaye (@Ckandrew14) April 2, 2015
You are all going to hell for posting these threads about me on Twitter #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Christopher Bond (@cdbond) April 3, 2015