John Oliver buys Trinidad TV time to taunt notorious FIFA scoundrel into snitching on his buddies
Last Week Tonight host John Oliver donned his “mittens of disapproval” as he bought television time on Trinidad & Tobago’s national network to encourage ex-FIFA vice president Jack Warner to tell authorities everything he knows in their ongoing corruption investigation, Gawker reported.
“It’s like they say — snitches get smooches,” Oliver said in a commentary aired on Tuesday. “That’s what they say. That’s the phrase. So please, release the documents, Mr. Warner, and you may yet salvage your completely tattered reputation.”
After apologizing for interrupting the airing of Mike & Molly, Oliver told viewers that he bought the 4-minute segment after Warner “promised-slash-threatened” to distribute documents linking FIFA officials to the country’s 2010 elections. Warner currently faces charges of racketeering, conspiracy and corruption in connection with the investigation into corruption at FIFA.
“Since his preferred mode of communication is evidently purchased time on Trinidad’s TV6, I have bought this time in the hope that he is watching,” Oliver explained, before reciting some examples of local slang and pausing to let viewers laugh at “the whitest person who ever lived attempting speak Trini.”
“Do not blue-ball the entire planet by promising spectacular FIFA revelations and not delivering,” he continued. “I am begging you: release everything. Here’s my argument: why the hell not?”
“Seriously, I’ve been looking through the indictment and … good luck with that,” he said.
“For the use of his cats!” Oliver repeated, slapping his desk in excitement.
Tuesday’s segment was Oliver’s latest salvo against FIFA. Last year, he memorably ripped the soccer organization for its systemic corruption in handing out World Cup bids.
Watch Oliver’s commentary, as posted online on Tuesday, below.