Angry Bristol Palin wants Obama to get off her damn Alaska lawn, stop renaming her mountains

With occasionally-employed Sarah Palin working a temp job in San Diego (call me!) she obviously delegated her Mama Grizzly duties protecting the Great State of Alaska to her layabout non-condom-using daughter Bristol to keep an eye on things and --oh holy crap -- there goes the neighborhood!


Mr. President, Get Out of Alaska: You Have Bigger Mountains to Climb

Yup, the swearing party-crashing drunken Mom of the Year is super mad that the President of These Here United States has the audacity to visit the pristine whiteness that is Alaska like some kind of occupying Muslim conqueror.

President Obama is taking a trip to the Alaskan Arctic.

I wish we could add up how much this trip costs the tax payers dollars……….. They probably had to BARGE limousines here!!!!!!! They rented out an entire TOWER at our nicest hotel here? A TOWER!!!!!!!!!!

Shut down most of downtown Anchorage.. So many protesters here in Alaska this morning awaiting his arrival.. This is just a joke for us..

I’m completely dumbfounded by his trip here. Why again?

Why indeed? (Or: why indeed!!!!!!) Obama was in Alaska for TWO WHOLE HOURS back in 2009 during a refueling stop. Showing up all over again is almost stalking. Creepy.

And what does he seem most concerned about? Renaming a mountain.

Well, no. He's talking about climate change and visiting some of smaller coastal fishing towns -- including at stop at Bristol Bay, namesake for Bristol -- so yeah, it's almost like he is taunting her. No wonder she seems upset.

But since he's in Alaska:

Why doesn’t he check out our oil fields? Why doesn’t he open our pipeline so we can supply our own natural gas instead of buying it from our enemies in the Middle East… This is just a joke.

Unlike the ability to get pregnant easily or a knack for grifting, energy manufacturing knowledge is not something she apparently picked up from her mom because the US doesn't really purchase natural gas from the Middle East.  On the other hand, Canada is kind of east of Alaska and, also, too, is between her home state and Newfoundland --  so she totally nailed it. Is Canada our enemy?  Seems that way - (Justin Bieber, Nickleback). Case closed.

But never mind that, because Bristol wants to make a mountain out of ... another  mountain.

He announced yesterday that he will be renaming Mt. McKinley, Denali, its “traditional Native American name.”

[...]

By the way, no one is buying the “Denali is what the Alaskans have called it for years” line. I’ve never called the mountain Denali .. and neither does anyone I know …

Cue the "quitter speech" by Half -Term Governor Mom Sarah Palin  in 2009:

What an absolutely beautiful day it is, and it is my honor to speak to all Alaskans, to our Alaskan family this last time as your governor. And it is always great to be in Fairbanks. The rugged rugged hardy people that live up here and some of the most patriotic people whom you will ever know live here, and one thing that you are known for is your steadfast support of our military community up here and I thank you for that and thank you United States military for protecting the greatest nation on Earth. Together we stand.

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun.

It is entirely possible that Bristol wasn't listening to her mom (teenagers, hmphh!) which makes sense because if she had ever listened to her mom before-- who is pro-condom -- she wouldn't be adding on all that baby weight.

Again.