Nobody likes Ted Cruz.
Since the day he sashayed into the Senate, thinking he was the new President from Texas, Cruz has endeared himself to exactly no one except for a few House members he convinced to shut down the government. For freedom.
A simple Google search of 'Hate+Ted+Cruz' turns up this kind of media coverage:
Why Everyone (in Congress) Hates Ted Cruz -- NY Magazine
Why D.C. Hates Ted Cruz -- The Atlantic
Why even people who agree with him hate Ted Cruz -- The Week
A lot of people just don’t like Ted Cruz. How come that’s okay with him? -- The Washington Post
The Ted Cruz pile on: GOP senators warn of revolt should he win nomination -- CNN
How Unpopular Is Ted Cruz Right Now? -- The Atlantic (again)
Why Senate Republicans Hate Ted Cruz -- Slate
Five Reasons Congress Hates Ted Cruz -- The Fiscal Times
Trump ups the ante: ‘Everybody hates Ted’ Cruz -- The Washington Times
Ted Cruz So ‘Hated’ by Republicans That He’ll ‘Need a Food Taster’ at Senate Lunches: ABC News Reporter -- The Blaze
The GOP Establishment Has Found The One Thing That Can Make Donald Trump Palatable: Ted Cruz -- The Huffington Post
You get the idea. The GOP would rather have braying tacky "short-fingered vulgarian" Donald Trump as their standard bearer rather than a guy who was actually elected to office as a Republican.
Even screechy babbling Bumpit-headed Sarah Palin, whose endorsement helped Cruz win in Texas, prefers Trump.
To be fair, there is probably a quid pro quo in play for Palin, including a shopping spree at Forever 21 and a comp room and all-you-can-drink mini-bar at Trump International Hotel & Tower in New York whenever she's in town.
But do politicians, peers, and washed-up reality stars with rogue children actually know the REAL Ted Cruz?
For that you would have to turn to his family. His loved ones. The people who see him drink milk from the carton, forget to flush, and are sent to bed early on Friday night so he can watch Cinemax. Alone.
Back in December, Cruz released a commercial starring his family wherein he attempted to convey human feelings and interactions with his wife, kids , parents, and assorted stunt people with little regard for themselves.
The outtakes from the video show a man trying so hard...and failing so badly.
His father gives him a distasteful look while Cruz blah blah blahs about himself. His mother hunches her shoulders when Cruz is instructed to give her a second hug -- this time with feeling. Like a human being, g-dammit!
Watch:
Following the GOP debate last Thursday, Cruz attempted to give his wife, Heidi, a celebratory smooch. She, in turn, did everything she possibly could to shift her mouth, skin, muscles, cartilage and tissue below the surface to one side of her face -- away from hubby Ted's creepy thin-lips.
The lips of inmates in prison come in closer contact with those of a visitor -- with glass between them - than that kiss.
And then today, 7-year-old daughter Caroline Cruz did all she could to squirm away from her dad when he tried to give her a hug and a kiss for the cameras.
There you have it.
It would seem that -- like a lot of Republicans -- they're just not that into you, dude.
Lo siento, as they say in Canada...
