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Trevor Noah roasts Trump’s shameless lies about shady wine and steak ventures

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Donald Trump used his victory speech for an infomercial to sell some Trump brand products while a Secret Service agent guarded the table of wine and steak.

“Donald Trump would make a great Jehovah’s Witness, wouldn’t he?” “Daily Show” host Trevor Noah joked Wednesday night. “‘Have you read about The Word? Here, take one. Take one. Eh, whatever. See you in hell. Whatever.’ Just to remind you, this is a speech for a Republican presidential candidate!”

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Trump challenged the media to check his claims that he owned 100 percent of his Trump Winery and that it was the largest winery on the East Coast. Naturally, “The Daily Show” actually did check it out and discovered the disclaimer on the Trump Winery website which reads “not owned, managed or affiliated with Donald J. Trump.”

“What kind of balls does it take to dare the press to check something that is so untrue?” Noah asked correspondent Jordan Klepper.

“The kind of balls that get sworn in next January,” Klepper said with a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

But the winery isn’t the only thing. “These are not Trump steaks,” Klepper continued. “There use to be a thing called Trump Steaks. Back in 2007, Trump use to sell them through the Sharper Image catalogue. I assume between the dog Segway and the ionic masturbation wand…. According to Sharper Image’s then CEO, they literally sold almost no steaks. I’m no business man, but that might have been a factor in them being discontinued.”

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Meanwhile, no one quite knows why Bernie Sanders was able to win the Michigan primary on Tuesday night. It could have been a influx of young voters, it could have been terrible polling, the debates could have changed everything, but no one expected it. Not even Sanders himself.

According to CNN, Sanders made his speech early and then went to his hotel room in Florida to watch results and retire early. He actually had to come back out to make a speech after winning standing in front of some wooden wall in a garden somewhere with a campaign sign behind him.

“That is so priceless. Like Bernie went to retire. I can imagine Bernie’s people waking him up to tell him that he won. ‘Senator Sanders! Senator Sanders!’ He’s like, ‘What?! Wall Street! Wall Street! Wall Street billionaires! What?! What?!'”

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It looked a little something like this:

Trevor Noah shows Bernie Sanders for Michigan Primary win (Screen capture)

Trevor Noah shows Bernie Sanders for Michigan Primary win (Screen capture)

Video of Trump:

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Video of Sanders:

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After Trump: No free pass for Republicans — they own this nightmare

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With the impeachment inquiry leveling up this month as public hearings begin, and with an election that might actually be the end of Donald Trump now less than a year away, the campaign to let Trump's Republican allies — even the most villainous offenders — move on and pretend this never happened is already underway.

This article first appeared in Salon.

Sadly, the clearest articulation of the let-bygones-be-bygones mentality has come from a Democrat — unsurprisingly, former Vice President Joe Biden.Biden, who is still, somehow, the frontrunner in Democratic primary polling, spoke at a chi-chi fundraiser on Wednesday, and dropped this pearl of wisdom: "With Donald Trump out of the way, you’re going to see a number of my Republican colleagues have an epiphany."

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Elections 2016

As climate crisis-fueled fires rage, fears grow of an ‘uninhabitable’ California

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As activist Bill McKibben put it, "We've simply got to slow down the climate crisis."

With wildfires raging across California on Wednesday—and with portions of the state living under an unprecedented "Extreme Red Flag Warning" issued by the National Weather Service due to the severe conditions—some climate experts are openly wondering if this kind of harrowing "new normal" brought on by the climate crisis could make vast regions of the country entirely uninhabitable.

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Elections 2016

‘A profound emoluments clause violation’: Andrew Napolitano slams Trump’s hosting the G7 at Doral

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In the wake of acting White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney's announcement this Thursday that next year's G7 summit will be hosted at President Trump's Doral golf club, Fox News senior judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano pointed out that Trump would be violating the emoluments clause if he were to go through with the move.

At the outset of the segment, Fox Business Network anchor Neil Cavuto said that the announcement is "effectively saying the president has given himself this contract."

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