“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert took his anger to the people Tuesday night, when he crafted a freestyle trashing the inaction of the U.S. Senate.
“We all have jobs to do,” Colbert told his audience. “I’m doing my job right now and I’ve got these cameras here to prove it. After the attacks in Orlando, I thought, maybe the government might do their job and pass any kind of law. Even a fig leaf to justify their existence.”
He said that he owed himself an apology for thinking something like that might actually happen. Instead of passing a bill, the Senate voted down four measures aimed to help close loopholes that allowed the Orlando shooter access to the weapons used in the mass shooting.
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) held the floor in a 15-hour filibuster aimed to force a vote on these bills. However, all of them failed. Most news outlets reported that the bills were expected to fail, in large part, due to the Republican majority.
“They couldn’t even agree to keep people on the terror watch list from buying high-powered assault rifles,” Colbert blasted. “I don’t understand you, Senate. Ninety-two percent of Americans want you to expand background checks for gun buyers and you just ignore them! Since when does 8 percent of the population get to have total control over an issue? That’s like taking your entire family on a cross-country car trip and letting grandma choose all the music!”
Colbert acknowledged that it’s likely difficult to find common ground on an issue he called “politically fraught” but decided it was time to take the gloves off.
“Hey, Senate, my dog accomplished more than you this week when it rolled over and licked its nuts,” Colbert said, with a beat-track playing behind him.
“Hey, Senate, I’ve seen bugs trapped in amber move faster than you!” he continued. “You guys think the terrorist watch list is when you put ‘Homeland’ on your Netflix que. You might as well ask the gun lobby to check for a hernia as long as they’ve got your balls in their hands. Senate, you couldn’t pass a bill if it was coated in Ex-Lax. But if you ever did pass a bill it would say, ‘Be it resolved, no kissing and the NRA should just leave the money on the dresser.”
Colbert went on to say that the Senate accomplished so little this year that even Kylie Jenner wants to know what they do for a living. “Senate, you got more old white men lying around than a Life Alert ad. You’re so divided, you couldn’t come together if you had 30 hours and a reacharound from Sting. You’re like a grandpa after an all-starch dinner, you cannot get sh*t done.”
Colbert said that he was still upset, but at least the series of verbal punches made him feel a little bit better. Check out the full video below:
After Trump: No free pass for Republicans — they own this nightmare
With the impeachment inquiry leveling up this month as public hearings begin, and with an election that might actually be the end of Donald Trump now less than a year away, the campaign to let Trump's Republican allies — even the most villainous offenders — move on and pretend this never happened is already underway.
This article first appeared in Salon.
Sadly, the clearest articulation of the let-bygones-be-bygones mentality has come from a Democrat — unsurprisingly, former Vice President Joe Biden.Biden, who is still, somehow, the frontrunner in Democratic primary polling, spoke at a chi-chi fundraiser on Wednesday, and dropped this pearl of wisdom: "With Donald Trump out of the way, you’re going to see a number of my Republican colleagues have an epiphany."
As climate crisis-fueled fires rage, fears grow of an ‘uninhabitable’ California
As activist Bill McKibben put it, "We've simply got to slow down the climate crisis."
With wildfires raging across California on Wednesday—and with portions of the state living under an unprecedented "Extreme Red Flag Warning" issued by the National Weather Service due to the severe conditions—some climate experts are openly wondering if this kind of harrowing "new normal" brought on by the climate crisis could make vast regions of the country entirely uninhabitable.
‘A profound emoluments clause violation’: Andrew Napolitano slams Trump’s hosting the G7 at Doral
In the wake of acting White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney's announcement this Thursday that next year's G7 summit will be hosted at President Trump's Doral golf club, Fox News senior judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano pointed out that Trump would be violating the emoluments clause if he were to go through with the move.
At the outset of the segment, Fox Business Network anchor Neil Cavuto said that the announcement is "effectively saying the president has given himself this contract."