Stephen Colbert cited a Politico report, saying that hardly anyone in his own party wants to speak at Trump’s convention. “Finally answering the age-old question: What if you destroyed a party and nobody came?” Colbert joked.
“George Will is officially now George Won’t,” Colbert punned.
With Trump as the nominee, Will explained that he no longer believes that the GOP is his party. Will officially changed his Maryland voter registration to “unaffiliated,” Colbert reported. “Which means, other parties, he’s single!” Colbert exclaimed with Will’s photo in a heart like an episode of the “Dating Game.”
“Are you a political party on the prowl for a new standard bearer? Well, look no further than,” and Colbert cut to bandleader John Baptiste singing a special slow-jams version of George Will’s name.
“This ultimate piece of political man-meat is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and a Fox News contributor. He’s far right in the streets and all wrong in the sheets,” Colbert continued. “Turn-ons include baseball metaphors, abolishing the minimum wage and creating voluntary personal accounts in order to reduce the federal cost of Social Security. Mmmm, daddy like!”
Colbert closed by explaining that George is on the rebound after a long relationship with the GOP. “So give Georgie a call today. Cause, if you think that bow-tie looks good on him, you should see how it looks on your floor.”