Social media is going wild with hilarious things that aren’t actually in the Republican party’s platform, but there are a fair amount of absurd policy stances that are being supported by every candidate on the Republican party ticket in 2016.
1. Protecting against magnetic pulse attacks:
If you’re afraid of the missiles that North Korea keeps dropping in the ocean, you’re not alone. According to Washington Post columnist David Weigel, the GOP platform will include a declaration to protect the power grid from potential EMP attacks.
Here’s the GOP platform plank that commits the party to protecting against magnetic pulse attacks pic.twitter.com/KXX8zdcYCA
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) July 11, 2016
To understand why this is a little strange, check out this report from a cybersecurity firm (PDF), which reads in part, “some [information], especially from the Internet, has major inaccuracies. Some discussions of HEMP have the right words and concepts, but do not quite have them put together right, or have inaccurate interpretations,” it says on page A-1. That lists point-by-point how fictional disaster movies aren’t a good barometer for crafting domestic policy.
2. The Bible is American History:
Despite the first Bible being written in Hebrew and Greek in Mesopotamia and then Greece, the GOP believes that the Bible is part of American history. Further, the GOP believes that the Bible should be taught in public schools as American history, despite the book lacking any reference to the United States.
It seems history books derived from the Bible are preferred, as the platform committee also agreed that today’s school textbooks “are pretty much focused on minority history” so students “get the wrong version” of events.
3. Undermining child abuse laws:
Another amendment that passed calls for the elimination of any government intervention in parenting. It’s part of the Parental Rights Amendment to the United States Constitution, which allows any parent to discipline their own children however they see fit. This isn’t just about beating children like Ted Cruz, it can mean locking them away in a cellar and raping them, or even waterboarding them. It can mean preventing them getting life-saving vaccines or even refusing to educate them because the end times are coming anyway.
“Pornography, with his harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the life of millions,” the amendment states. “We encourage states to continue to fight this public menace and pledge our commitment to children’s safety and wellbeing.”
The language is remarkably similar to the law Utah passed declaring pornography to be a public health crisis. If it works out for the GOP the way that it has for Utah, perhaps there is a whole market of Republican pornography ripe for investment.
If that isn’t bad enough, it was white Republicans who decided what is or isn’t healthy for you and your family. The GOP platform committee’s subcommittee on healthy families didn’t have any people of color on it.
5. LGBT people are still the enemy.
The Republican party is still unequivocally opposed to homosexuality and they don’t care that 68 percent of the country doesn’t have a problem with gay or lesbian people, according to the Gallup poll. The same can be said of same-sex marriage, which the U.S. Supreme Court legalized last year. Opposition to marriage is now at historic lows with only 37 percent opposed compared to 59 percent in 2005.
The party did drop their demand for a Constitutional amendment making marriage between one man and one woman, perhaps that’s what progress looks like in the GOP.
While bills barring transgender people from being able to use the bathroom of their preferred gender identity have caused financial disasters in the states that have passed them, the national GOP is undeterred. Their latest party platform demands that legislation be passed everywhere to restrict bathroom usage to sex assigned at birth.
If that isn’t bad enough, the GOP also wants to target children caught up in the foster care system and prevent them from having a safe loving home with an LGBT couple. They passed an amendment that would limit the power of government adoption agencies, keeping more and more children in the system.
This is the draft language opposing Obama admin’s guidance to schools re: trans kids and bathrooms/locker rooms pic.twitter.com/OyWfVaxbB5
— Liz Goodwin (@lizcgoodwin) July 11, 2016
They almost passed language that would declare that every child deserves a married mom and dad. But the last thing the GOP needs to do is publicly attack single parents, again. Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council was working to get an amendment passed endorsing conversion therapy, which the American Psychological Association has denounced as harmful, especially to minors.
Language: "We support the right of parents to determine the proper treatment or therapy, for their minor children."
— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) July 11, 2016
6. Welcome to the “Great Opportunity Party!” Now learn English and build a wall:
Perhaps the most schizophrenic amendment is one that tries to have it both ways on immigration. “Our party is the natural home for those who come in search of freedom and justice,” the GOP party platform reads, “We welcome all to the Great Opportunity Party. … We both encourage the preservation of heritage tongues and support English as the nation’s official language.” It goes on to blame “illegal immigrants” for endangering everyone and exploiting taxpayers. “That is why we have in the past demanded, at our vulnerable borders, construction of a physical barrier and, at all ports of entry, maximum vigilance. … The Department of Homeland Security must use its authority to keep dangerous aliens off our streets and to expedite expulsion of criminal aliens. Gang membership should be a deportable defense.”
Even though Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) is in the fight of his political life, his party’s platform now demands that all Republicans support Trump’s “build a wall” position. Flake had previously said it was not an “advisable” position to take.
They did refrain from repeating his desire to ban all Muslims.
7. Early childhood education is not an American value.
If you’re throwing out the textbooks and replacing them with Bibles, the last thing you really need is to educate children before Kindergarten. At least, that seems to be the logic behind the GOP’s decision to ditch their support of early childhood education. The committee added language opposing the one form of education that has proved time and time again to be the most effective way to shape a child’s brain to learn. One GOP committee member said, it “inserts the state in the family relationship in the very early stages of a child’s life.”
Pre-K funding came under right-wing attack in Texas last year when conservatives called it a “godless, socialistic” institution.
BONUS: Republicans from blue areas don’t matter: Not all Republicans are created equal in the mind of some of the GOP delegates. If you live in parts of California, Hawaii, Florida, Ohio or New York, you shouldn’t be allowed to be a delegate to the Republican Party according to this amendment:
RNC platform consideration: Another potential rule change would eliminate delegates from Congressional districts held by Democrats. — Randy Prine (@randyprine) July 11, 2016
Purity is critical in maintaining the conservative reputation of the GOP. Raw Story couldn’t verify if this was a valid consideration from the GOP platform committee or merely a suggestion.
Don’t get them started on what constitutes “junk food” either.
GOP platform committee now debating what "junk food" is. oreos vs chocolate covered oreos. Seriously.
— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) July 11, 2016
It begs the question: Are they even trying to win the White House in 2016?