Stephen Colbert tromped out to a cabin in the woods to find Jon Stewart on last night’s “Late Show,” in hopes that the former “Daily Show” host could explain how Donald Trump came to pass.
Putting aside his chi kombucha, Colbert invited his friend in for some kale jerky, but desperately begged him to forego his beard care to explain how Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for president.
Stewart played dumb, pretending he didn’t know Trump was the nominee and after a hilarious spit-take wondered how the hell it happened. “The guy from ‘The Apprentice?’ The guy who did a McDonald’s commercial with Grimace? The guy who filed for bankruptcy in 1991?” Stewart asked.
“And ’92,” Colbert said.
“And 2004,” Stewart continued.
“And 2009,” Colbert followed.
“Mike Tyson’s business advisor? That guy?” Stewart asked. “The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth.”
“The guy who looks like an angry creamsicle,” Colbert clarified.
“Human toupee hybrid.”
“A guy who looks like he’s actually wearing a Donald Trump costume?” Stewart asked.
“A loose-fitting one at that!” Colbert joked.
“The guy who wrote, and I quote, ‘Oftentimes, when I was sleeping with one of the top women of the world, I would say to myself, ‘can you believe what I am getting.’ That guy?” Stewart asked.
“Yes! The same guy who said, and I quote, ‘I have black guys counting my money. I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yamakas all day,'” Colbert clarified. “So you can see why I’m here.”
Stewart instead brought out Republican Colbert, who was reprised earlier in the show, but even that character couldn’t believe Trump was the nominee.
‘A profound emoluments clause violation’: Andrew Napolitano slams Trump’s hosting the G7 at Doral
In the wake of acting White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney's announcement this Thursday that next year's G7 summit will be hosted at President Trump's Doral golf club, Fox News senior judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano pointed out that Trump would be violating the emoluments clause if he were to go through with the move.
At the outset of the segment, Fox Business Network anchor Neil Cavuto said that the announcement is "effectively saying the president has given himself this contract."
Modi tells Xi summit will launch ‘new era’ for India and China
India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi said Saturday that his summit with Chinese leader Xi Xinping would launch a "new era" between the neighbours who are seeking to overcome troublesome differences.
Modi and Xi strolled along a pristine Bay of Bengal beach and held one-on-one talks overlooking the ocean before their delegations sat down to official negotiations at the historic resort town of Mahbalipuram, south of Chennai.
The two leaders are meeting for the second time in a year in a bid to ease tensions over border disputes, the troubled Kashmir region and China's domination of trade between their huge economies.
Trump calls for impeachment of Mitt Romney for criticizing him in rambling tweet
Hours after Donald Trump attacked Sen. Mitt Romney for being critical of his call for the Chinese to dig up dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden, the president was back for another round, calling for the Utah Republiocan to be impeached.
Claiming without evidence that voters in Utah are turning on their senator, Trump claimed, "I’m hearing that the Great People of Utah are considering their vote for their Pompous Senator, Mitt Romney, to be a big mistake. I agree! He is a fool who is playing right into the hands of the Do Nothing Democrats!" followed by: #IMPEACHMITTROMNEY