Stephen Colbert tromped out to a cabin in the woods to find Jon Stewart on last night’s “Late Show,” in hopes that the former “Daily Show” host could explain how Donald Trump came to pass.
Putting aside his chi kombucha, Colbert invited his friend in for some kale jerky, but desperately begged him to forego his beard care to explain how Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for president.
Stewart played dumb, pretending he didn’t know Trump was the nominee and after a hilarious spit-take wondered how the hell it happened. “The guy from ‘The Apprentice?’ The guy who did a McDonald’s commercial with Grimace? The guy who filed for bankruptcy in 1991?” Stewart asked.
“And ’92,” Colbert said.
“And 2004,” Stewart continued.
“And 2009,” Colbert followed.
“Mike Tyson’s business advisor? That guy?” Stewart asked. “The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth.”
“The guy who looks like an angry creamsicle,” Colbert clarified.
“Human toupee hybrid.”
“A guy who looks like he’s actually wearing a Donald Trump costume?” Stewart asked.
“A loose-fitting one at that!” Colbert joked.
“The guy who wrote, and I quote, ‘Oftentimes, when I was sleeping with one of the top women of the world, I would say to myself, ‘can you believe what I am getting.’ That guy?” Stewart asked.
“Yes! The same guy who said, and I quote, ‘I have black guys counting my money. I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yamakas all day,'” Colbert clarified. “So you can see why I’m here.”
Stewart instead brought out Republican Colbert, who was reprised earlier in the show, but even that character couldn’t believe Trump was the nominee.
Trump campaign in danger of having lawsuits thrown out over unpaid legal bills: report
According to a report from Politico, Donald Trump's cash-strapped campaign is frantically attempting to collect settlements in legal disputes because it needs the money to fund other lawsuits that are in danger of being dismissed.
Noting that the campaign of the embattled president is pressing Omarosa Manigault Newman to make a delinquent $52,000 payment for writing an unauthorized book about White House doings, the report explains the money is desperately needed.
‘Women didn’t like that’: Fox News host grills GOP chairwoman after Trump interrupts ‘145 times’ at debate
Fox News host Sandra Smith pressed Republican National Committee chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel on Thursday over the idea that President Donald Trump could be punished with a "mute button" after he repeatedly interrupted Democratic candidate Joe Biden at Tuesday's presidential debate.
During an interview on Fox News, Smith noted that the Commission on Presidential Debates is considering changing the rules due to the constant interruptions at the first debate between Biden and Trump.
"At any point when you were watching the debate, did you wish that perhaps President Trump didn't jump in there as much as he did?" Smith wondered.
Rod Rosenstein secretly crippled the Mueller investigation: report
According to a report from the New York Times, former Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein had a hand in limiting the scope of special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into ties between Donald Trump's 2016 campaign and the Russians by secretly curtailing an FBI counterintelligence probe.
The report from Michael Schmidt of the Times begins by stating, "The Justice Department secretly took steps in 2017 to narrow the investigation into Russian election interference and any links to the Trump campaign, according to former law enforcement officials," before adding, "But law enforcement officials never fully investigated Mr. Trump’s own relationship with Russia, even though some career F.B.I. counterintelligence investigators thought his ties posed such a national security threat that they took the extraordinary step of opening an inquiry into them."