Stephen Colbert tromped out to a cabin in the woods to find Jon Stewart on last night’s “Late Show,” in hopes that the former “Daily Show” host could explain how Donald Trump came to pass.
Putting aside his chi kombucha, Colbert invited his friend in for some kale jerky, but desperately begged him to forego his beard care to explain how Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for president.
Stewart played dumb, pretending he didn’t know Trump was the nominee and after a hilarious spit-take wondered how the hell it happened. “The guy from ‘The Apprentice?’ The guy who did a McDonald’s commercial with Grimace? The guy who filed for bankruptcy in 1991?” Stewart asked.
“And ’92,” Colbert said.
“And 2004,” Stewart continued.
“And 2009,” Colbert followed.
“Mike Tyson’s business advisor? That guy?” Stewart asked. “The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth.”
“The guy who looks like an angry creamsicle,” Colbert clarified.
“Human toupee hybrid.”
“A guy who looks like he’s actually wearing a Donald Trump costume?” Stewart asked.
“A loose-fitting one at that!” Colbert joked.
“The guy who wrote, and I quote, ‘Oftentimes, when I was sleeping with one of the top women of the world, I would say to myself, ‘can you believe what I am getting.’ That guy?” Stewart asked.
“Yes! The same guy who said, and I quote, ‘I have black guys counting my money. I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yamakas all day,'” Colbert clarified. “So you can see why I’m here.”
Stewart instead brought out Republican Colbert, who was reprised earlier in the show, but even that character couldn’t believe Trump was the nominee.
Rod Rosenstein secretly crippled the Mueller investigation: report
According to a report from the New York Times, former Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein had a hand in limiting the scope of special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into ties between Donald Trump's 2016 campaign and the Russians by secretly curtailing an FBI counterintelligence probe.
The report from Michael Schmidt of the Times begins by stating, "The Justice Department secretly took steps in 2017 to narrow the investigation into Russian election interference and any links to the Trump campaign, according to former law enforcement officials," before adding, "But law enforcement officials never fully investigated Mr. Trump’s own relationship with Russia, even though some career F.B.I. counterintelligence investigators thought his ties posed such a national security threat that they took the extraordinary step of opening an inquiry into them."
‘Meanest and most disrespectful’ senator: Trump lashes out at Kamala Harris in latest presser
At Tuesday's White House press conference, President Donald Trump spent a considerable portion of the time attacking Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA), who was just announced to be former Vice President Joe Biden's running mate.
Harris, complained Trump, was the "meanest and most disrespectful person in the U.S. Senate." He particularly dwelled on her sharp interrogation of Brett Kavanaugh during his Supreme Court hearings.
Trump also added that she "lied" about a number of issues, claimed repeatedly she wants to raise taxes, said she is for "open borders and sanctuary cities ... which is also protecting a large number of criminals," and that she would destroy the Second Amendment.
California bill to establish nation’s second public bank applauded as ‘historic challenge to Wall Street domination’
"If California is serious about addressing racial and income inequities, we must create a banking system that centers people not profits."
In a move advocacy groups celebrated as a "historic challenge to Wall Street domination of municipal finances," a pair of California state lawmakers on Thursday unveiled legislation that would establish the nation's second publicly-owned bank and empower the institution to lend to businesses and local governments fighting to stay afloat amid the Covid-19 pandemic.