Trevor Noah said the “white guy argument” that broke out between vice presidential candidates Tim Kaine and Mike Pence was boring compared to last week’s Hillary Clinton-Donald Trump horror show.
“Going into the debate, these candidates had very different jobs,” Noah said. “Tim Kaine had to show a fun, affable personality to counter Clinton, who’s been cold and distant since she died six weeks ago. And Mike Pence, he was there to scoop up all the crap from Trump in the last debate. His debate was basically sponsored by Febreze — it was just him onstage going, ‘Nothing smells here, nothing smells here.'”
The debate started out with Kaine and Pence talking over one another like “stepdad vs. real dad.”
Noah pointed out the similarities between the two men, who both have been married 31 years, have sons in the military, are very religious and have served at multiple levels of government.
“If you were picking these guys up at the airport, and they were bags, you’d get them mixed up with each other,” Noah said. “My ears couldn’t even distinguish between the two of them.”
Noah said the most impressive performance was turned in by Pence, who managed to dodge every single Trump scandal thrown at him.
“I would vote for Mike Pence just because how he defends Donald Trump,” Noah said. “He’s like the guy who can’t convince his friend not to drive drunk, but he’s really good at convincing the cop that his friend isn’t really drunk.”
Noah said Kaine was scrappy, which isn’t the quality voters are looking for in a vice president, and over-prepared for the debate.
“It’s great to prepare for the debate, it’s just not great to prepare your punchlines,” he said.
Noah said voters learned nothing, because the debate was inscrutable — and the moderator failed to correct either candidate’s inaccurate claims.
“There’s one thing we didn’t need a fact-checker for tonight,” Noah said. “Every time Mike Pence defended something Donald Trump said, everyone knows Donald Trump said the thing.”