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Sam Bee mocks Trump’s #GoldenShowerGate: ‘A spoonfull of hooker urine helps the treason claims go down’

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The fact that the Trump #GoldenShowerGate story is “plausible bullsh*t” concerns “Full Frontal” host Samantha Bee.

On Wednesday’s show, Bee addressed the strange stories surrounding Donald Trump’s dealings with Russia. The allegations are that Trump also hired prostitutes to urinate on each other for his enjoyment. While CNN never told their story with the details in the briefing, BuzzFeed put the documents online to let readers decide for themselves.

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Bee knew that the report wasn’t real because Trump has never actually paid anyone. She noted that no one would ever believe something like this about President Barack Obama, but with Trump it actually could be real. Besides, with Obama, Congress has urinated on him “for free” for years.

“In fact, if we believe something nasty and petty is what gets Trump hard, then his late night tweets to Alec Baldwin make a lot more sense,” Bee said.

To believe something about this, Bee noted that American voters would have to believe that Trump is the type of person to have a bizarre fixation with women and their bladders. The problem, of course, being that he went nuts on Twitter mocking Clinton for having to use the bathroom during the commercial break in the Democratic debates.

Bee noticed that Trump’s press conference on Wednesday used yet another prop table. This time, however, instead of a bunch of Trump products, it was “pile of manilla folders” representing “a soggy mattress once occupied by the last president we could look at without bursting into tears,” Bee said.

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Trump couldn’t manage to talk about the report without using words like “releasing” and “number one and number two.” It was too much for Bee to handle. He then managed to go off on how there are small cameras that can be put anywhere to capture people doing anything.

“Since when has the presence of cameras stopped Trump from doing something stupid?” Bee asked, showing the footage of Trump mocking the disabled New York Times reporter.

Trump said that the whole thing is “number one, tricky,” which Bee noted also happened to be the name of his favorite escort service.

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“And while it’s fun to watch a livid Orange Julius explain that he can’t be into water-sports because he’s a germaphobe, we may have just witnessed what the history books will call, the end of the free press,” Bee said. She then showed a clip of Trump losing his mind about the news of the leak of leaks and attacking CNN’s Jim Acosta.

“Yeah, you,” Bee pretended to be in a press conference. “I’ll take a question from the frog with a thumbs up sign.”

She ultimately concluded that this is likely a distraction from the real explosive details about Trump and his relationships with Russia.

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“A spoon full of hooker urine helps the treason claims go down,” she said.


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Stephen Colbert rips ‘idiot’ GOP senator for defending Trump’s unconstitutional self-dealing

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"Late Show" host Stephen Colbert returned from New Zealand for a new show that aired Monday evening.

"I have been as far from the insatiable black hole of news that is Donald Trump as you can get on this planet.

I've heard there have been some developments over the last 10 days that did not go well for Donnie,"

The host ripped Trump's 71-minute press conference.

"Seventy-one minutes is not a press conference, it's a one man show," he explained. "If you liked 'Fleabag,' you'll love Donald Trump in 'Douchebag,'" he said.

[caption id="attachment_1555275" align="aligncenter" width="800"] ‘The Late Show’ graphic (screengrab)[/caption]

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Donald Trump is making a mockery of Marco Rubio — and the Florida senator is letting him

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Sen. Marco Rubio was once one of Donald Trump’s most formidable opponents; now, the Florida senator bends over backward to excuse the president’s corruption.

In 2016, Rubio and Trump sparred frequently on the Republican primary debate stage. Trump picked the uninspired nickname “Little Marco” for the senator, which didn’t seem to do much damage on its own, but Rubio never gained the momentum or strength that his backers hoped would prove to be strong enough to take down the reality TV candidate. As Rubio grew desperate, he launched one of his most memorable and pitiful attacks by stooping to his opponent’s level, implying that Trump had a small penis. It was more of an embarrassing moment for Rubio than anyone else, though Trump helped himself with a crude rejoinder.

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The faith of Fox News: How the network’s propaganda warps viewers’ sense of reality

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A longtime sticking point among Fox News employees is their insistent differentiation between its news division, where employees practice actual journalism, and its opinion division, where employees practice actual nativism, spew misinformation, and have been actively campaigning for Donald Trump’s re-election since 2016.  Inside the organization, they claim to believe that the news side is separate from the opinion side, and insist that the audience can tell the difference.

News anchor Shepard Smith once characterized comparing the two as “apples and teaspoons.”

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