Of all the would-be terror victims, The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert mused, New York City’s subway straphangers were always going to be a tough sell.
“I’ve got something to say to this guy,” the host said, turning his attention to suspect Akayed Ullah, a Brooklyn resident who detonated a bomb in a Manhattan subway earlier on Monday.
“Seriously? You tried to terrorize New York subway commuters? Nice try!” Colbert cried. “New York commuters don’t even flinch when the subway break dancers kick two inches away from their faces. They have to battle rats for the seats – which, for the record, you should only give up if the rat is pregnant.”
The host also played on Brooklyn hipster stereotypes when discussing the borough Ullah hailed from: “he used only locally sourced handmade artisanal bomb parts.”
Watch Colbert chide the wannabe terrorist below.
— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) December 12, 2017