“Full Frontal” host Samantha Bee on Wednesday slammed Devin Nunes’ (R-CA) anti-FBI memo as “fan fiction,” joking the House Intelligence Committee chairman’s efforts to undermine the Russia investigation is “like a turducken of treason [and] tastes bitter like the ashes of our democracy.”
In her monologue following Donald Trump’s State of the Union address, Bee pointed out the racist undertones of the president’s “appeal” to U.S. citizens.
“We were also promised that Trump would mention DREAMers and he did, sort of,” Bee said, rolling a clip of the president promising to protect citizens first and foremost because “Americans are DREAMers too.”
“What a beautiful, proud, thoughtful way to say you will only help white people,” Bee said.
She also took issue with descriptors of Trump’s speech as “uplifting,” joking that she found the speech to be glass-half-full, “assuming that glass is half-full of cyanide and I get to drink it.”
After playing a montage of Trump’s “chilling” 2018 policy proposals, Bee offered her own suggestion for fixing the state of the union.
“I’ll pay Stormy Daniels $130,000 to say [Trump] has a big dick and isn’t afraid of sharks so he doesn’t blow up the world,” Bee said.
Turning to the latest developments in the Russia investigation—and particularly Republican efforts to undermine special counsel Robert Mueller—Bee played a clip of Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) insisting it’s necessary for his chamber to probe FBI malpractice.
“If there was any justice in this world, Paul Ryan’s chin would be as weak as his morals,” Bee said.
But she saved her sharpest criticism for “proud top-teeth owner Devin Nunes,” pointing to his efforts to hype a memo written by his own staff that allegedly shows the FBI participated in untoward surveillance practices as part of the Russia probe.
“You remember Devin Nunes as the guy who already had to recuse himself from this very investigation for lying to protect the White House so we should definitely trust him,” Bee explained.
“And Nunes hasn’t even seen all the intelligence he based the memo on,” she said. “So this so-called memo of Nunes’ is more like a fun little fan fiction he wrote in his spare time.”
Noting that Russian bots helped to push Nunes-led efforts to release the memo, Bee pointed out “the Russian interference investigation has itself been interfered by Russians.”
“It’s like a turducken of treason,” Bee said. “Tastes bitter, like the ashes of our democracy.”
“You know, it’s disturbing to watch Republicans openly try to shut down this investigation,” she continued. “But should we even be surprised? Last night, when Trump roared an actual fascist slogan, they gave him a standing ovation.”
Watch below, via TBS:
Watch Trump’s ’jaw-dropping’ interview with Axios on HBO
Trump ridiculed for his late-night ‘OPEN THE SCHOOLS’ rant: ‘Eat your Big Mac and shut up’
President Donald Trump demanded local school boards reopen schools during a late night tweet sent after 11 p.m. on Monday.
"OPEN THE SCHOOLS!!!" Trump demanded, in all capital letters with three exclamation marks.
The president was harshly criticized for his tweet, here's some of what people were saying:
You can't even get your own son's school to open.
They have refused.
The school where your son Barron is being educated refuses to open because it's not safe.
Now sit there, eat your Big Mac, and shut up.
Florida Democrats ask their own candidate to withdraw his candidacy after cocaine arrest: report
Democrats in Florida are asking their own candidate to end his campaign for county commission after an arrest for DUI and cocaine.
"A Collier County commission candidate's arrest in East Naples this past weekend has prompted calls from his party to drop out of the race," the Naples Daily News reported Monday. "John Jenkins, 55, was booked into the Naples Jail Center Sunday morning and faces a felony charge of possession of cocaine, according to a Collier County Sheriff's Office arrest report. He was released later that day on $5,000 bond."