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Here are the 7 dumbest excuses Republicans have given for Trump’s Stormy Daniels affair

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Donald Trump still denies having sex with Stormy Daniels.

Almost everyone in the country has accepted that the “baby Christian” president had an affair with a porn star while his new wife was home caring for their infant son—but not the president.

This has put the president’s defenders in a difficult position. They have to begin any discussion of the situation by stipulating that President Trump is lying about immoral behavior and a potentially illegal effort to cover it up lest they be dismissed as fools, and yet they then have to defend his continual lying about it.

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This cognitive dissonance has been hard on them. And, as a result, they’ve been forced to say some very, very stupid things.

Here are seven of the dumbest things we’ve heard from the mouths of Republicans defending Trump from the allegations.

There was no affair!

Few Republicans say they believe this. A poll conducted after Daniels’ bombshell interview with 60 Minutes found that 9 percent of Americans still believed the President’s account, that he did not have an affair. (About 2% of Americans believe the world is flat.)

But among the deniers is Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who has been forced to deny the affair almost every day during her press briefing.

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“Did the president approve of the payment?” reporters ask.

“Look, the president has addressed these directly and made it very well clear that none of these allegations are true,” Sanders said, her voice quivering, on March 7.

This has become Sanders’ own “largest crowd” moment—except it keeps happening, over and over again.

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Donald Trump isn’t a hypocrite because everyone knows he’s a creep!

This is the position of people like Yahoo’s Matt Bai and of former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan.

Bai told Meet The Press that Trump is not guilty of hypocrisy in his sex scandal because he is, essentially, a hound. And Noonan completely agreed.

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“We have spent the last three decades as an industry saying we don’t care about your hypocrisy, we care about your hypocrisy,” he said. “You’re always telling is how moral you are and then we catch you being immoral.”

“Trump never put himself forward as morally exemplary,” Noonan said. “Those who liked him never had the illusion that he was, in his personal life, an exemplary person.”

It’s perhaps worth remembering that Trump continues to lie about this particular affair. He has not come clean and owned it, like Bai and Noonan said. He is still engaged in lying and hypocrisy.

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God picked Trump!

Very few Evangelical Christians talked about how Obama was ordained as the nation’s leader and deserving of total loyalty and support. And yet, God has now picked a president—a dirtbaggy one, according to Christian author Stephen Strang, the author of God and Donald Trump.

“God has always used imperfect people, from King David to the Apostle Paul. So we believe that God has raised up this unlikely person who is championing Christian values in a way no other president has,” he said. “Most people—and certainly most Christians—would consider a one-night stand different, especially as a private person.”

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ACTUALLY, Stormy Daniels is bad for Democrats!

This Hail Mary is the position of people like National Review columnist Ronald Brownstein, who insists that Trump having an affair with a porn star who his personal lawyer later illegally paid to cover up the affair is actually bad for Democrats.

In, “Why Stormy Daniels Poses a Problem for Democrats,” Brownstein argues that a situation in which Republicans are worried that the president’s personal lawyer is going to “flip” and spill two decades of dirt is a problem for liberals.

“The intense media attention on Trump’s personal deficiencies might not actually move many more voters than they already have, and the economic message pushed by Democrats—one that’s rooted, in part, in the tax bill—is having a hard time breaking through,” he writes.

His argument basically boils down to Republicans in the suburbs being outraged but racially resentful working class whites not caring about Stormy Daniels and valuing the $1.50 “tax cut” that bought them new CostCo memberships.

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No one cares!

This is the position of people like conservative pundit Tomi Lahren, who maintains that other more important things are going on. She said the media should be covering “wall prototypes” instead of an apparent plot to violate campaign finance laws to silence an accuser.

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“Americans don’t have time for that,” Lahren told TMZ. “I’m so tired of hearing about this…. they’re covering this now, what, because their Russia story is falling apart?”



I don’t even care enough to think about it!

This is the position of outgoing Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, who won’t talk about the Daniels affair.

“I haven’t put a second of thought into this. It’s just not on my radar screen,” Ryan said.

She’s a slut!

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This is the actual position of some of Trump’s actual real-life friends, such as conservative radio host Michael Savage who was invited to travel to France on an official state visit with Trump.

“Irrespective of whether [Michael] Cohen paid off some low-life slut who may have slept with the president—that is not a crime by the way, as you’ll hear from my defense attorney,” savage said of the apparent illegal campaign contribution. “It’s not a crime to pay anyone hush money, I don’t know if you know that. There was no crime here.”

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WATCH: AOC dunks on GOP for ‘beclowning themselves’ during Trump’s impeachment

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Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) blasted her Republican colleagues on national TV on Friday.

Ocasio-Cortez, also known as AOC, is the youngest woman ever elected to the House of Representatives. She was interviewed on MSNBC's "All In" by anchor Chris Hayes.

"Midway through today's impeachment inquiry, the president was accused of witness tampering," Hayes noted. "One of the sharpest rejoinders came from Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez."

The host read her tweet to the live studio audience.

he*

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) November 15, 2019

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‘The worst day of the presidency so far for Donald Trump’: Advisor to four presidents

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President Donald Trump has not had a worse day in office than he suffered on Friday, according to a top former White House advisor.

David Gergen served in the administrations of Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. He was interviewed Friday night by CNN's Anderson Cooper.

"If you are looking to throw somebody under the bus, Gordon Sondland would probably be a prime candidate to be next in line to be thrown under the bus," Cooper said.

"I think the president will wait patiently to see what he says and then decide," Gergen replied.

He then offered his analysis of the situation.

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Chris Hayes breaks down the ‘busy day in the criminal chronicles of one President Donald J. Trump’

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MSNBC anchor Chris Hayes connected the dots between all of the bombshell news that was reported Friday in the impeachment hearings into President Donald Trump.

"Good God, today has been ten days and this week has been ten weeks," Hayes said. "And there are a million things happening at once."

"Just in the past couple of hours, for instance, we just got this incredibly incriminating and damning behind closed doors testimony from a U.S. foreign service officer that was still supposed to be kind of like the B-story today, the sideshow," he explained. "It's a guy who works in the U.S. embassy in Ukraine, a guy named David Holmes. He testified behind closed doors that he could hear president Trump talking on the phone to the U.S. Ambassador to the European Union who was an inaugural donor, and they were in a restaurant in Kiev and the president was shouting so loudly on the phone that [Gordon] Sondland had to hold the phone away from his ear because it was hurting his eardrum, so then everyone could hear."

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