President Donald Trump's unhinged speech in South Carolina Monday was filled with alternative facts, but one particular gaffe was hilarious even for Trump.
The president tried to bash soon to be former Rep. Mark Sanford (R-SC) who lost his primary race to a Trump-endorsed conservative. In a tweet encouraging his voters to head to the polls, Trump mocked Sanford for getting caught having an extramarital affair and claiming he was hiking the Appalachian Trail when he and his lover were in Argentina. Except, Trump didn't exactly get it right.
“The Tallahassee Trail must be a beautiful place,” Trump said. “Unfortunately, he didn’t go there.”
The Tallahassee Trail doesn't exist, though perhaps Trump will enact an executive order to make it.
"You're right, he didn't go there, because the 'Tallahassee Trail' does not exist," Colbert said, mocking the president's ignorance.
He then slipped into his Trump voice to speak warmly about the phantom hiking trail.
"Ah, the Tallahassee Trail. Right through the heart of Tallahachia. From the lungs of the great Smoker Mountains, all the way to the crotch of Viagra Falls. So beautiful. So beautiful. A lot of newlyweds go up there. Hold hands."
Colbert began his opening monologue talking about the recent decision to uphold the Muslim ban. He cited Chief Justice John Roberts, who said he wouldn't consider Trump's previous statements about wanting to ban Muslims, which Colbert found absurd.
"Well, sure, if you set aside everything he said, it's legal!" Colbert exclaimed. "That's like a lawyer saying, 'My client is innocent, as long as you set aside the bloody knife he was holding, while he screamed, 'I loves me some murderin'!'"
Watch the opener below:
