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Stephen Colbert hilariously mocks new Trump doctrine ‘we’re America, b*tch’: ‘It looks like we’re Russia’s b*tch’

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“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert couldn’t help but notice that President Donald Trump spent most of the latter part of last week trolling American allies while celebrating the world’s foes.

The CBS host began by explaining that he has discovered the real reason that Trump challenged Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is far deeper than international diplomacy or foreign trade.

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“Wow!” Colbert said after reading Trump’s tweets aloud. “He’s mad. It’s like Trudeau stole his girlfriend. Oh, wait, he kinda did.”

Colbert then flashed a 2017 photo by Saul Loeb of the first daughter gazing at the Canadian leader with an appreciative smile.

“Now, demolishing our relationship with our closest ally might seem like a bad idea, but Trump’s top advisers think otherwise,” Colbert continued. “Like Trump trade adviser and dehydrated Tommy Lee Jones, Peter Navarro.”

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Colbert played the interview of Navarro blasting Trudeau saying there was a “special place in hell” for the leader.

So, Canada’s our enemy now,” he said.

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The host read an except from The Washington Post noting that never in history has a U.S. official spoken of an ally in this way. “These are the kind of words that normally precede military action,” The Post said.

“We’re going to war with Canada?” Colbert asked. “Oh, my God, we’re going to have to put Alex Trebek in a detention center. Bet you don’t have an answer for that one, do you, you smug bastard!”

After mocking the epic photo that shows an indignant Trump being surrounded by G7 leaders demanding an explanation for his tariffs problem, Colbert played a clip of the president demanding that the G7 let Russia back into the fold.

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“This used to be the G-8, not the G-7,” Trump said in his speech. “And something happened awhile ago, where Russia is no longer in. I think it would be an asset to have Russia back in.”

“Something happened?” Colbert asked. “You mean the invasion of Crimea, eastern Ukraine, and the shooting down of a passenger jet? Did you just ‘yada, yada, yada’ over war crimes? Can you do that with any atrocity? ‘Who knows how World War I happened? A web of entangling European alliances engineered by Otto von Bismarck yada, yada, yada– ‘War Horse’ wins the Tony.'”

Colbert then cited Trump’s insistence that Russia be let back at the negotiations table. “I understand you want Russia at the negotiating table, but Don, Jr. already tried that and got caught.”

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When it came to the newly founded “Trump Doctrine,” which includes the sentimental declaration, “We’re America, bitch,”  as one Trump staffer said.

“Huh, that’s weird because it really looks like ‘we’re Russia’s bitch,'” he closed.

Watch the full clip below:

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… then let us make a small request. Like you, we here at Raw Story believe in the power of progressive journalism — and we’re investing in investigative reporting as other publications give it the ax. Raw Story readers power David Cay Johnston’s DCReport, which we've expanded to keep watch in Washington. We’ve exposed billionaire tax evasion and uncovered White House efforts to poison our water. We’ve revealed financial scams that prey on veterans, and efforts to harm workers exploited by abusive bosses. We’ve launched a weekly podcast, “We’ve Got Issues,” focused on issues, not tweets. Unlike other news sites, we’ve decided to make our original content free. But we need your support to do what we do.

Raw Story is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. We’re not part of a conglomerate, or a project of venture capital bros. From unflinching coverage of racism, to revealing efforts to erode our rights, Raw Story will continue to expose hypocrisy and harm. Unhinged from corporate overlords, we fight to ensure no one is forgotten.

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John Oliver cites Donald Trump’s final offer for Greenland: ‘$200 and I’ll throw in Don Jr.’

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"Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver's favorite highlight of the week was, of course, President Donald Trump's decision that he wanted to buy Greenland.

In his opener Sunday, the HBO host said that he wasn't all that surprised given Trump's track record.

"Of course, he f*cking did. Of course, he did. Greenland is icy, distant and autonomous is exactly Trump's type," Oliver said, showing a photo of Trump with the first lady.

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Florida teacher removed after bizarre rant about students not standing for the pledge

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Students were faced with a white-board rant in a classroom attacking anyone not standing up for the Pledge of Allegiance.

The moment went viral locally on Thursday after students posted Daniel Goodman‘s “inappropriate” message to students at First Coast High School in Duval County, Florida, The Atlanta Black Star reported.

“THINK: We had about a half million Americans die in our Civil War, which was largely to get rid of slavery. There are no longer separate water fountains and bathrooms in Jacksonville for ‘white’ and ‘colored,’ as Mr. Goodman remembers from the 1960?s. We had an amendment to the U.S. Constitution allowing women the right to vote. We have had a Black president. The superintendent of Duval Schools is a Black woman. Mr. Fluent, our principal, replaced a Black man. Mr. Simmons, who now is a DC PS admninistrator.”

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Angry Minnesota farmer bashes ‘insulting’ Trump comments that ‘we’re great patriots’ during his trade war

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President Donald Trump has insulted at least one Minnesota farmer by his claim that farmers are "great patriots" who want him to continue his trade fight against China.

"This wound is self-inflicted, by our president," said Gary Wertish, who is the Minnesota Farm Bureau president. "We definitely agreed with it in the beginning. But it doesn’t appear that there’s a plan B. Some of the callous comments come, especially from the president, you know, that farmers are 'winning,' we’re 'great patriots,' that’s very insulting. That’s coming from someone who never has faced the challenges of a family farmer. I go into the bank and tell the lender I can’t make the payment because we lost our market? The banker is going to tell me you don’t have to make your payment because you’re a patriot."

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