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Stephen Colbert hilariously mocks new Trump doctrine ‘we’re America, b*tch’: ‘It looks like we’re Russia’s b*tch’

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“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert couldn’t help but notice that President Donald Trump spent most of the latter part of last week trolling American allies while celebrating the world’s foes.

The CBS host began by explaining that he has discovered the real reason that Trump challenged Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is far deeper than international diplomacy or foreign trade.

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“Wow!” Colbert said after reading Trump’s tweets aloud. “He’s mad. It’s like Trudeau stole his girlfriend. Oh, wait, he kinda did.”

Colbert then flashed a 2017 photo by Saul Loeb of the first daughter gazing at the Canadian leader with an appreciative smile.

“Now, demolishing our relationship with our closest ally might seem like a bad idea, but Trump’s top advisers think otherwise,” Colbert continued. “Like Trump trade adviser and dehydrated Tommy Lee Jones, Peter Navarro.”

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Colbert played the interview of Navarro blasting Trudeau saying there was a “special place in hell” for the leader.

So, Canada’s our enemy now,” he said.

The host read an except from The Washington Post noting that never in history has a U.S. official spoken of an ally in this way. “These are the kind of words that normally precede military action,” The Post said.

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“We’re going to war with Canada?” Colbert asked. “Oh, my God, we’re going to have to put Alex Trebek in a detention center. Bet you don’t have an answer for that one, do you, you smug bastard!”

After mocking the epic photo that shows an indignant Trump being surrounded by G7 leaders demanding an explanation for his tariffs problem, Colbert played a clip of the president demanding that the G7 let Russia back into the fold.

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“This used to be the G-8, not the G-7,” Trump said in his speech. “And something happened awhile ago, where Russia is no longer in. I think it would be an asset to have Russia back in.”

“Something happened?” Colbert asked. “You mean the invasion of Crimea, eastern Ukraine, and the shooting down of a passenger jet? Did you just ‘yada, yada, yada’ over war crimes? Can you do that with any atrocity? ‘Who knows how World War I happened? A web of entangling European alliances engineered by Otto von Bismarck yada, yada, yada– ‘War Horse’ wins the Tony.'”

Colbert then cited Trump’s insistence that Russia be let back at the negotiations table. “I understand you want Russia at the negotiating table, but Don, Jr. already tried that and got caught.”

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When it came to the newly founded “Trump Doctrine,” which includes the sentimental declaration, “We’re America, bitch,”  as one Trump staffer said.

“Huh, that’s weird because it really looks like ‘we’re Russia’s bitch,'” he closed.

Watch the full clip below:

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Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan to give up royal titles — ‘the hardest #Megxit possible’

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Britain's Prince Harry and his wife Meghan will give up their royal titles and public funding as part of a settlement with the Queen to start a new life away from the British monarchy.

The historic announcement from Buckingham Palace on Saturday follows more than a week of intense private talks aimed at managing the fallout of the globetrotting couple's shock resignation from front-line royal duties.

It means Queen Elizabeth II's grandson Harry and his American TV actress wife Meghan will stop using the titles "royal highness" -- the same fate that befell his late mother Princess Diana after her divorce from Prince Charles in 1996.

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GOP senator tells home-state press that impeachment trial must be ‘viewed as fair’: report

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Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) spoke to local reporters on Saturday about her role in the upcoming Donald Trump impeachment trial.

Murkowski explained she would likely vote with Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) on an initial vote on whether to allow witnesses. However, she left the door open to voting for witnesses after House impeachment managers make their opening case.

"I don't know what more we need until I have been given the base case," she said. "We will have that opportunity to say 'yes' or 'no' ... and if we say 'yes,' the floor is open."

Overall, Murkowski said it was important for the trial to been viewed as fair.

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White House press secretary urged to do her job: ‘We don’t pay you to be a Twitter troll’

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White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham was blasted on Saturday over the confusion resulting from her refusal to hold daily press briefings.

CNN senior media reporter Oliver Darcy was alarmed that Grisham's assistant, Hogan Gidley, was forcing reporters to refer to his remarks as coming from a "sources close to the President's legal team."

Darcy noted that Trump had repeatedly questioned the veracity of unnamed sources, making it problematic for Gidley to demand to be quoted as such.

https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/1218704788432572422

Grisham responded to the criticism and asked Darcy to "stop with the righteous indignation.

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