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Trump’s DHS issues bizarre statement in broken English about border wall

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The Department of Homeland Security this week issued a bizarre statement written in broken English discussing its purported progress in building President Donald Trump’s border wall.

The statement, which is posted on the DHS’s website, begins with an all-caps declaration that “WE ARE BUILDING THE FIRST NEW BORDER WALL IN A DECADE.”

The statement then goes on to boast about how excited the DHS is about building the wall, while also touting the supposed wall’s height as unprecedented in American history.

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“DHS is committed to building wall and building wall quickly,” the statement claims. “We are not replacing short, outdated and ineffective wall with similar wall. Instead, under this President we are building a wall that is 30-feet high.”

DHS then goes on to praise Trump for giving the department the necessary motivation for even attempting such a feat.

“FACT: Prior to President Trump taking office, we have never built wall that high,” the statement says.

Trump this week has threatened to shut down the federal government unless Congress gives him $5 billion to fund the wall’s construction. The president has also claimed that Mexico is still paying for the wall, however, which seemingly undercuts his claim that he desperately needs Congress to foot the bill.

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Stephen Colbert rips ‘idiot’ GOP senator for defending Trump’s unconstitutional self-dealing

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"Late Show" host Stephen Colbert returned from New Zealand for a new show that aired Monday evening.

"I have been as far from the insatiable black hole of news that is Donald Trump as you can get on this planet.

I've heard there have been some developments over the last 10 days that did not go well for Donnie,"

The host ripped Trump's 71-minute press conference.

"Seventy-one minutes is not a press conference, it's a one man show," he explained. "If you liked 'Fleabag,' you'll love Donald Trump in 'Douchebag,'" he said.

[caption id="attachment_1555275" align="aligncenter" width="800"] ‘The Late Show’ graphic (screengrab)[/caption]

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Texas Republicans are abandoning the state’s GOP Speaker: ‘We no longer support him’

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Some of the most powerful Texas House Republicans said Monday they no longer support GOP Speaker Dennis Bonnen, marking the biggest blow yet to his political future amid the fallout from a secret recording released last week by a hardline conservative activist.

Five Republicans considered senior members of the lower chamber issued a statement withdrawing support for him: State Reps. Four Price of Amarillo, Dan Huberty of Houston, Lyle Larson of San Antonio, Chris Paddie of Marshall and John Frullo of Lubbock.

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Donald Trump is making a mockery of Marco Rubio — and the Florida senator is letting him

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Sen. Marco Rubio was once one of Donald Trump’s most formidable opponents; now, the Florida senator bends over backward to excuse the president’s corruption.

In 2016, Rubio and Trump sparred frequently on the Republican primary debate stage. Trump picked the uninspired nickname “Little Marco” for the senator, which didn’t seem to do much damage on its own, but Rubio never gained the momentum or strength that his backers hoped would prove to be strong enough to take down the reality TV candidate. As Rubio grew desperate, he launched one of his most memorable and pitiful attacks by stooping to his opponent’s level, implying that Trump had a small penis. It was more of an embarrassing moment for Rubio than anyone else, though Trump helped himself with a crude rejoinder.

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