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Trump’s DHS issues bizarre statement in broken English about border wall

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The Department of Homeland Security this week issued a bizarre statement written in broken English discussing its purported progress in building President Donald Trump’s border wall.

The statement, which is posted on the DHS’s website, begins with an all-caps declaration that “WE ARE BUILDING THE FIRST NEW BORDER WALL IN A DECADE.”

The statement then goes on to boast about how excited the DHS is about building the wall, while also touting the supposed wall’s height as unprecedented in American history.

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“DHS is committed to building wall and building wall quickly,” the statement claims. “We are not replacing short, outdated and ineffective wall with similar wall. Instead, under this President we are building a wall that is 30-feet high.”

DHS then goes on to praise Trump for giving the department the necessary motivation for even attempting such a feat.

“FACT: Prior to President Trump taking office, we have never built wall that high,” the statement says.

Trump this week has threatened to shut down the federal government unless Congress gives him $5 billion to fund the wall’s construction. The president has also claimed that Mexico is still paying for the wall, however, which seemingly undercuts his claim that he desperately needs Congress to foot the bill.

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2020 Election

‘Flailing’ Trump is ‘losing and he’s going to lose bigly’: CNN pollster

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Appearing on CNN's "New Day" with host John Berman, polling analyst Harry Enten said Donald Trump is running a disastrous re-election campaign where the president is losing to his presumptive opponent, Joe Biden, on topics near and dear to the public where the president should be dominating.

According to the analyst, the president is "flailing" because his campaign is pursuing a "losing strategy" as revealed by his poor polling numbers.

Using an ABC/Ipsos poll released Friday morning as his guide, Enten explained, "It's important obviously to put this into context because the president is going to be running against somebody else in former Vice President Joe Biden and, when it comes to the issue of the coronavirus and you match up Biden versus Trump, who is trusted more on the issue, the former vice president is trusted by double digits and also on race relations, the other big issue of the day, we see the former vice president trusted by double digits. It's difficult to imagine that the president will win unless something changes."

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2020 Election

Mike Pence hoped being Trump’s worshipful manservant would protect him from the president’s collapse — but the pandemic’s on him now

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One of the most enduring Trump-era internet memes is "I hope you find someone who looks at you the way Mike Pence looks at Donald Trump." Trevor Noah's "Daily Show" has had a lot of fun with it:

Who's ready to watch Mike Pence watch Donald Trump? #SOTU pic.twitter.com/QqHUeAaXAq

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) February 5, 2019

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Trump cold-calling friends to launch ‘woe-is-me’ monologues during summer of death and turmoil: report

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President Donald Trump has been moaning about his political misfortunes in calls with friends, as the coronavirus pandemic, nationwide racial protests and widespread unemployment threatens his re-election chances.

The president doesn't even bother with pleasantries anymore, friends told the Washington Post, and instead launches immediately into "woe-is-me" monologues.

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