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Colbert: You know your lawyer is bad when he’s prepping his opening statement to stay out of hell

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“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert took a jab at President Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani for a train wreck of an interview with The New Yorker this week.

“I have been through all the tapes… I shouldn’t have said ‘tapes,'” Colbert quoted Giuliani’s conflicting statements.

“The president had no conversations. I shouldn’t say he had no conversations. He had a few conversations,” was another Colbert read off.

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“And my personal favorite, ‘I have a sense of ethics that is as high as anybody you can imagine.’ And, also, ‘I am not an ethicist,'” Colbert laughed.

“I am everything and I am nothing,” Colbert joked. “I am old, I am young. I am ever-ending, just begun. Behold, I am Rudy, destroyer of clients. Oppenheimer quoted that. And then the reporter asked Giuliani if he was concerned if his defense of Trump would impact Giuliani’s legacy. He replied, ‘Absolutely. I am afraid it will be on my gravestone: Rudy Giuliani: he lied for Trump.’ Rudy doesn’t really care about his legacy, evidently, adding: you know things are going great when your lawyer is already prepping his argument to stay out of hell.”

Colbert also mocked Trump for the obsession about making him look skinnier in photos. The host had an excellent way of photoshopping Trump into a better president. You can view it in the video below:

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Trump encourages China to take advantage of Jay Powell and Fed: They ‘don’t have a clue’

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President Donald Trump launched a new attack against his own Federal Reserve chairman in a pair of Monday morning tweets.

The president has been publicly pressuring Fed chairman Jerome Powell to lower interest rates in hopes of staving off a recession, but the Trump appointee has so far resisted his calls.

"Producer prices in China shrank most in 3 years due to China’s big devaluation of their currency, coupled with monetary stimulus," Trump tweeted. "Federal Reserve not watching? Will Fed ever get into the game? Dollar strongest EVER! Really bad for exports. No Inflation...Highest Interest Rates..."

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Internet pummels Trump for frantic demand to investigate Obama instead: ‘This is not the tweet of an innocent man’

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President Donald Trump jealously raged against Barack Obama's post-presidency business deals, which includes a production agreement with Netflix -- and other social media users ridiculed his apparent envy.

Trump questioned that deal and others in a pair of tweets complaining about an impeachment inquiry launched against him last week by the House Judiciary Committee, and he suggested Congress look at Obama's business since he left the White House.

....work that way. I have a better idea. Look at the Obama Book Deal, or the ridiculous Netflix deal. Then look at all the deals made by the Dems in Congress, the “Congressional Slush Fund,” and lastly the IG Reports. Take a look at them. Those investigations would be over FAST!

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Is the Trump administration squelching a whistleblower — and a major scandal?

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America's system of government has always worked on the honor system. With so few Senate-confirmed Cabinet and federal agency heads, and so many “acting” officials working in the Trump administration, people who are constantly forced to audition for permanent positions are now under tremendous pressure to protect a president hellbent on breaking every norm of good governance. Now a new possible political scandal could be brewing in the Trump administration that tests the loyalty of these “acting” officials — pitting their allegiance to the nation against their desire to impress their boss.

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