Quantcast
Connect with us

John Oliver: You can tell Jared Kushner is an idiot just by looking at him

Published

on

john oliver and jared kushner

In his recap of the week, HBO host John Oliver couldn’t help but notice that Jared Kushner is far too attractive to be managing the docket of issues he’s been assigned.

When looking at photos of past negotiators of Middle East peace, they look like they’ve been filled with stress and aged prematurely. Kushner looks “radiant,” according to Oliver. Kushner is far too rested to be smart enough to handle the issues he’s supposed to be solving.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Jared is exactly where you’d expect a boy his age to be,” Oliver said. “Trying to broker a peace deal in one of the most intractable conflicts in geopolitical history. Jared has been promising a Middle East peace deal and recently announced he’d unveil it after the Israeli elections, which, as far as promises go, isn’t one.”

Kushner’s news was stepped on by the report that his clearance was ordered by his father-in-law because intelligence agencies said he was too susceptible to blackmail and manipulation from foreign powers. Oliver noted that reports revealed that former chief of staff John Kelly and ex-White House counsel Don McGahn wrote memos of concern about the president’s demand.

“Honestly, the only surprising thing there is the claim that Kelly and McGahn bothered to write memos raising concerns,” Oliver said. “What’s Trump supposed to do with a memo raising concerns? Read it? A memo? With what? His eyes? For what possible reason? So he can know stuff? To what end? So he can do stuff? Why? So he can get more memos about the stuff he’s doing? Nice try, memos!”

The report by the Washington Post revealed that officials from China, Mexico, Israel, and the UAE saw Kushner as exploitable and hoped to manipulate him. That directly harms national security, Oliver cautioned, but not before making fun of him a little more.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Manipulate him? This guy?” Oliver said. “He’d sniff that out in a heartbeat. Unless of course, someone got his nose!”

Oliver then made the hand gesture often done by adults to babies claiming to steal their nose. Oliver then blackmailed Jared that he wouldn’t give his nose back without classified state secrets about the United States.

But it was Kushner’s complexion that had Oliver up in arms. The host argued that the top aide to President Donald Trump looks far too rested.

ADVERTISEMENT

“This is a guy who is not just brokering peace in the Middle East, he’s tackling the opioid crisis, and national infrastructure as the head of the office of innovation, while constantly traveling half-way around the world, and doing it all while navigating the psycho-sexual Stalingrad that is marriage to Donald Trump’s daughter. Where are the bags under his eyes?! How is his skin so smooth!? It is deeply worrisome how unworried he looks! The only way you maintain that glow with that to-do list is by not really understanding anything on it.”

Oliver went on to scroll through photos of Kushner, claiming that he has “rested resting face.” He then compared Kushner’s photo to previous leaders who tried to broker peace deals and how incredibly old and wrinkled they appear. Kushner should be far more worried about the issues he’s facing, but to be fair, he only recently got his top-secret security clearance.

Watch Oliver’s full takedown below:

ADVERTISEMENT


Report typos and corrections to: [email protected].
READ COMMENTS - JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

‘He’s cooked’: Sam Donaldson warns Trump the Senate may vote to convict him after impeachment trial

Published

on

Veteran newsman Sam Donaldson on Monday evening told CNN viewers not to assume that Senate Republicans would refuse to remove President Donald Trump from office during an impeachment vote.

"Breaking news," CNN Don Lemon alerted. "A CNN source saying that the effort to pressure Ukraine for political help alarmed John Bolton so much that the told an aide to alert White House lawyers that Giuliani was a hand grenade who will blow everyone up. And a source familiar with Fiona Hill’s testimony says the former Russia adviser told lawmakers she was she saw wrongdoing in the Ukraine policy and reported it."

Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

Rudy Giuliani admits ‘Fraud Guarantee’ paid him $500,000 to work for indicted associate

Published

on

Rudy Giuliani admitted being paid a half a million dollars by an associate currently being held in federal custody, Reuters reported Monday.

"President Donald Trump’s personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, was paid $500,000 for work he did for a company co-founded by the Ukrainian-American businessman arrested last week on campaign finance charges, Giuliani told Reuters on Monday. The businessman, Lev Parnas, is a close associate of Giuliani and was involved in his effort to investigate Trump’s political rival, former Vice President Joe Biden, who is a leading contender for the 2020 Democratic Party nomination," Reuters reported.

Continue Reading
 

Breaking Banner

John Bolton ripped Rudy Giuliani as a drug dealer and ‘hand grenade’: report

Published

on

Then-National Security Advisor John Bolton was reportedly shocked by the shadow foreign policy being conducted by Rudy Giuliani, a top former National Security Council official testified to Congress on Monday, The New York Times reports.

"The effort to pressure Ukraine for political help provoked a heated confrontation inside the White House last summer that so alarmed John R. Bolton, then the national security adviser, that he told an aide to alert White House lawyers, House investigators were told on Monday," the newspaper reported. "Mr. Bolton got into a sharp exchange on July 10 with Gordon D. Sondland, the Trump donor turned ambassador to the European Union, who was working with Rudolph W. Giuliani, the president’s personal lawyer, to press Ukraine to investigate Democrats, according to testimony provided to the investigators."

Continue Reading
 
 
Help Raw Story Uncover Injustice. Join Raw Story Investigates for $1 and go ad-free.
close-image