In his recap of the week, HBO host John Oliver couldn’t help but notice that Jared Kushner is far too attractive to be managing the docket of issues he’s been assigned.
When looking at photos of past negotiators of Middle East peace, they look like they’ve been filled with stress and aged prematurely. Kushner looks “radiant,” according to Oliver. Kushner is far too rested to be smart enough to handle the issues he’s supposed to be solving.
“Jared is exactly where you’d expect a boy his age to be,” Oliver said. “Trying to broker a peace deal in one of the most intractable conflicts in geopolitical history. Jared has been promising a Middle East peace deal and recently announced he’d unveil it after the Israeli elections, which, as far as promises go, isn’t one.”
Kushner’s news was stepped on by the report that his clearance was ordered by his father-in-law because intelligence agencies said he was too susceptible to blackmail and manipulation from foreign powers. Oliver noted that reports revealed that former chief of staff John Kelly and ex-White House counsel Don McGahn wrote memos of concern about the president’s demand.
“Honestly, the only surprising thing there is the claim that Kelly and McGahn bothered to write memos raising concerns,” Oliver said. “What’s Trump supposed to do with a memo raising concerns? Read it? A memo? With what? His eyes? For what possible reason? So he can know stuff? To what end? So he can do stuff? Why? So he can get more memos about the stuff he’s doing? Nice try, memos!”
The report by the Washington Post revealed that officials from China, Mexico, Israel, and the UAE saw Kushner as exploitable and hoped to manipulate him. That directly harms national security, Oliver cautioned, but not before making fun of him a little more.
“Manipulate him? This guy?” Oliver said. “He’d sniff that out in a heartbeat. Unless of course, someone got his nose!”
Oliver then made the hand gesture often done by adults to babies claiming to steal their nose. Oliver then blackmailed Jared that he wouldn’t give his nose back without classified state secrets about the United States.
But it was Kushner’s complexion that had Oliver up in arms. The host argued that the top aide to President Donald Trump looks far too rested.
“This is a guy who is not just brokering peace in the Middle East, he’s tackling the opioid crisis, and national infrastructure as the head of the office of innovation, while constantly traveling half-way around the world, and doing it all while navigating the psycho-sexual Stalingrad that is marriage to Donald Trump’s daughter. Where are the bags under his eyes?! How is his skin so smooth!? It is deeply worrisome how unworried he looks! The only way you maintain that glow with that to-do list is by not really understanding anything on it.”
Oliver went on to scroll through photos of Kushner, claiming that he has “rested resting face.” He then compared Kushner’s photo to previous leaders who tried to broker peace deals and how incredibly old and wrinkled they appear. Kushner should be far more worried about the issues he’s facing, but to be fair, he only recently got his top-secret security clearance.
Watch Oliver’s full takedown below:
GUILTY: Jury rules Michael Flynn’s former business partner is guilty of lobbying for Turkey
Michael Flynn's former business partner Bijan Kian was found guilty by a jury for illegally lobbying for a foreign country.
The information was uncovered as part of special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation and as the Justice Department's crackdown on illegal foreign lobbying, CNN explained.
Flynn has had a difficult go in his court case, but information Flynn gave was helpful, according to the DOJ.
Kian is an Iranian-American businessman who was charged with conspiring to hide his lobbying work for Turkey without registering as a foreign agent for the Turkish government.
“It’s as bad as it looks”: Pelosi under fire for debt ceiling deal that hands GOP power to kneecap progressive agenda
"It sets up a crisis of the first year of the next president's administration," said a former congressional staffer. "We're letting them light the fuse on another bomb and place it squarely in the middle of the next president's first year."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi may have helped temporarily avert a looming fiscal crisis on Tuesday by striking a budget deal with the Trump administration, but progressives warned the agreement hands Republicans power to kneecap the next president's agenda by suspending the debt ceiling until after the 2020 elections.
FLASHBACK: Mueller makes GOP lawmaker look like an absolute fool during 2013 hearing
While previewing former special counsel Robert Mueller's upcoming testimony before the House of Representatives, CNN on Tuesday played a clip from six years ago showing Mueller schooling Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), who tried to corner the then-FBI director about his agency's work on the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing.
During the hearing, Gohmert tried to get Mueller to explain why the FBI supposedly hadn't visited the mosque that was frequented by the Tsarnaev brothers, the two American citizens of Chechen descent who carried out the attack.
"Why did no one go to the mosque and say, who are these guys?" Gohmert asked. "Why was that not done?"