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Lori Loughlin, Michael Avenatti and Julian Assange argue over who is crazier in SNL’s cold opener with Emma Stone

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NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” featured a cold open sketch depicted their sister station, MSNBC.

“Now that the Mueller report turned out to be a big, fat zero, we’re back to prison shows,” a narrator announced. “Right now, it’s “Lockup: Chino Correction Facility.”

Inmates were seen introducing themselves.

“Son, I’m the craziest dude in here,” one inmate says. “I stabbed my neighborhood to death and then ate his fingers so they couldn’t I.D. the body.”

“Damn, that’s insane,” another inmate says.

“Oh, yeah? You think that’s insane? I paid five hundred grand to get my daughter into USC,” Lori Loughlin, portrayed by Emma Stone, announced.

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“I’m accused of crimes you can’t even conceive of, like blackmailing a sneaker company and stealing taxes from a coffee shop to fund a race car team,” Michael Avenatti said. “And I’m so shady that a porn star once said she needed to distance herself from me.”

“And you know what the worst part is? I might still run for president. Avenatti/Baldwin 2020!” he added.

“Okay, he wins, he’s the craziest,” an inmate concluded.

“Is he, though?” Julian Assange asked.

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“Now, you sons of b*tches want to hear how crazy I am? Here’s how crazy I am. I’m wanted in the U.S. and Sweden, I’m from Australia, I live in London, in Ecuador — you try figuring that one out,” he said.

“I’ve attacked the U.S. military, b*tches, because I’m an actual James Bond supervillain and I’m one step away from destroying the goddamn moon,” he added. “So you want to get nuts?”

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Beto O’Rourke’s ‘war tax’ policy proposal is straight out of ‘Starship Troopers’

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Amid an overcrowded Democratic presidential candidate field, it's hard to distinguish yourself from the pack if you don't slot easily into the scale that runs from "pro-corporate centrist" to "left-populist." If you're former Texas congressman Beto O'Rourke —  who falls somewhere in the middle, politically, and somewhere towards the top, looks-wise — you pull a militaristic policy proposal out of your hat that recalls some of the most campy pseudo-fascist sci-fi ever written.

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Here are 5 questions Robert Mueller must answer during his Congressional hearings

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Former special counsel Robert Mueller will be testifying publicly before Congress on July 17th, the chairs of the House Judiciary and House Intelligence committees announced on Tuesday.

The special counsel had fought against testifying but was subpoenaed to compel his attendance.

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‘Finally #MuellerTime’: Internet celebrates Mueller’s upcoming public testimony on Russia investigation

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On Tuesday, the House Intelligence and Judiciary Committees announced that special counsel Robert Mueller will publicly testify about the Russia investigation's findings before Congress.

Quickly, the internet reacted to the news:

This will really matter, even if Mueller merely repeats what he said in his report. The vast majority of Americans have never read it. https://t.co/ZuRHqbRAEv

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