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John Oliver mocks Jared Kushner’s Middle East peace plan with ‘new’ idea to ‘stop doing terrorism’

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HBO host John Oliver couldn’t help but crack up at Jared Kushner for his naive Middle East peace plan that has taken him the better part of the first term in office to develop.

Harkening back to the inauguration, Oliver showed a clip of Trump saying that if Kushner can’t achieve Middle East peace, then it can’t be done. The “Last Week Tonight” host agreed with Trump that Jared would do an excellent job because he’s racked up such a vast list of accomplishments like having “a very smooth, shiny face.”

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He explained that Kushner’s so-called “plan” is more like a “vision,” which is “somewhere between an economic wish-list and a half-remembered, rich boy, wet dream.”

The economic plan describes, among other things, a $50 billion investment in Israel and Palestine once peace is achieved.

But when it came to actual peace, the more he talked about it, the less he seemed to say.

“If we have a peace, and there’s not a fear of people doing terrorism then all of a sudden we can really fend the borders and allow for much faster flow of goods and people,” Kushner told a room full of Middle East leaders.

“Yes, after thinking about it, Jared arrived at the conclusion that the Middle East would be better off if people stopped ‘doing terrorism,'” Oliver mocked.

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The host then went on to describe the hilarious thought process Kushner had when arriving at that plan. It involved thinking how “awesome” his point was, writing it down, and then he went to sleep, “exhausted by the thought.” The next morning when he woke, Jared thought, “Yup, nailed it! I’m a good boy!” Oliver exclaimed.

What the Oliver found shocking is that Kushner then said his point “out loud to a room full of actual human beings.”

“Astute analysis,” said former Israeli Ambassador Dan Kurtzer. “I would give this so-called plan a C- from an undergraduate student. The authors of the plan clearly understand nothing.”

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Oliver said, however, that a C- is a trust fund boy’s A+.

No Palestinian representatives attend Kushner’s gathering. Oliver said it’s likely because they don’t see the Trump administration as neutral parties. He went on to cite the fact that during a visit, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu slept at Kushner’s parents’ house, in Jared’s bed.

Watch Oliver’s hilarious mockery of Kushner below:

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Billionaires are now richer than 60 percent of the world’s population: report

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The world's billionaires have doubled in the past decade and are richer than 60 percent of the global population, the charity Oxfam said Monday.

It said poor women and girls were at the bottom of the scale, putting in "12.5 billion hours of unpaid care work each and every day," estimated to be worth at least $10.8 trillion a year.

"Our broken economies are lining the pockets of billionaires and big business at the expense of ordinary men and women. No wonder people are starting to question whether billionaires should even exist," Oxfam's India head Amitabh Behar said.

"The gap between rich and poor can't be resolved without deliberate inequality-busting policies," Behar said ahead of the annual World Economic Forum in Davos, where he will represent Oxfam.

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Alcohol-infused gummy bears infuriating candy giant Haribo

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Ander Mendez and his friends were hoping they'd struck it rich when they came up with the idea of selling alcohol-infused gummy bears -- until they found themselves in the sights of sweet giant Haribo.

Now, these three Spaniards say they're afraid of being shut down by the German confectionery king, which is famed for its vast array of jelly sweets and was founded 100 years ago in the western city of Bonn.

In a not-so-sweetly worded legal letter, Haribo has accused their startup of infringing its trademarked little bear.

But these graduates from the northern Spanish port city of Bilbao insist they will carry on producing their "drunken gummy bears" -- "because people like them."

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Threatened and endangered species among the animals hard by Australia’s bushfires

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Australia's bushfires have burned more than half the known habitat of 100 threatened plants and animals, including 32 critically endangered species, the government said Monday.

Wildlife experts worry that more than a billion animals have perished in the unprecedented wave of bushfires that have ravaged eastern and southern Australia for months.

Twenty-eight people died in the blazes, which have swept through an area larger than Portugal.

Officials say it will take weeks to assess the exact toll as many fire grounds remain too dangerous to inspect.

But the government's Department of the Environment and Energy on Monday issued a preliminary list of threatened species of plants, animals and insects which have seen more than 10 percent of their known habitat affected.

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