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Stephen Colbert said that for a moment he was hoping there would be a sex tape of Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), but he said that he would have to carve his eyes out with a grapefruit spoon.
Beginning with the news about the end to the Afghan War, Colbert noted that it's gone, the war is so old, that it's too old to date Matt Gaetz.
The host began his segment "Gaetz-Gaete" by mocking the suburban Orlando gated communities Gaetz would have the infamous parties.
"Is Matt Gaetz a congressman or a high school senior?" asked Colbert. "You gotta come to my house after prom! Mark's brother got us the good stuff. We're talkin' raspberry Mike's hard, a premium box of chardonnay with a bird on it, and a beer that can only be described as Milwaukee's 'best.'"
The women who attended the party spoke to CNN, saying that they were asked to put away their cell phones to prevent the escapades from being documented.
"To which the women replied, 'It's sex with Matt Gaetz. Neither do we,'" the host joked. "One attendee said that Gaetz acted like a frat-type of party boy. What frat would that be? Ima tappa minah? Beta getta lawya? Gonna go-ta jail-a? She also reported that Gaetz was taking pills she believed were recreational drugs. And partygoers say they shared drugs like cocaine and ecstasy, and some had sex, adding that Gaetz liked to discuss politics. Wow, how did the girls like that? 'Wow, congressman. That's a long story. Mark Meadows did what? And then what did Jim Jordan say? Oh, God, what was the safe word? Pumpkin patch! pumpkin patch!"
See the Colbert mockery below:
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Kimmel: Matt Gaetz telling Trump group 'if you want something done to hire a woman' has a whole different meaning
April 14, 2021
Jimmy Kimmel mocked the latest in Matt Gaetz news after it was revealed that he took recreational drugs, drank and partied with political people and young women who were paid for sex.
One woman told CNN that she was paid by Gaetz pal Joel Greenberg, but she wouldn't say who she had sex with.
Most of the women have been questioned by the Justice Department, the report revealed, but not all of them have.
Over the weekend, Gaetz spoke to a pro-Trump women's group at Mar-a-Lago where he said, "If you want something done, hire a woman." Kimmel felt like that has a whole different meaning knowing women at Gaetz's parties were paid for sex.
See the opener below:
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For the second night in a row, sometimes Fox News host Geraldo Rivera battled with Rush Limbaugh's replacement Dan Bongino. On Tuesday night, the two men joined Sean Hannity's show, where the host surprisingly appeared as the reasonable one.
At one point, Rivera called Bongino a "son of a b*tch" and a punk after Bongino attacked Geraldo for calling out the racism that leads to police brutality.
Wednesday evening, the fight continued, this time with Geraldo shouting down Bongino for his multiple failed political campaigns.
"I know more than you. What do you know? What, you had a ten-minute career as a cop? You've been running for office for the last twenty years!" Rivera said.
See a clip of the videos below:
Tuesday night:
“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” GERALDO just had a total MELTDOWN with Dan Bongino! 😮🤣🔥 @dbongino @GeraldoRivera https://t.co/1valmZsBOe— 🇺🇸Maggie VandenBerghe🇺🇸 (@🇺🇸Maggie VandenBerghe🇺🇸)1618450288.0
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