It wasn't quite Tiananmen Square, where a still-unknown number of Chinese protesters were murdered by the government in 1989, but it was the closest thing President Donald Trump managed to score this week.
After watching the footage of the military tear gas, beat and shoot at protesters so Trump could march from the presidential bunker to St. John's Church for the cameras.
"It was like Tiananmen Square," Colbert deemed. "Except, in Trump's case, Tinyman Square."
Trump claimed on "The Fox & Friends" that no one was tear-gassed, so it's unclear what was stinging people's eyes and making them cough, choke and tear up. The Park Police released a statement saying it wasn't tear gas. While the moment was captured on video from dozens of different camera angles, one protester actually grabbed a canister of Oleoresins Capiscum, or "OC," the gas that was used.
The company that makes it, Defense Technology, lists on its website that "is widely used as a crowd management tool for the rapid and broad deployment of chemical agent."
It causes the same tears and suffocation that tear gas does. So instead of it being tear gas, it was just a toxic chemical that causes tears.
When @usparkpolicepio says they didn’t use “CS or CN” tear gas, technically that’s correct. “OC” gas cannisters use… https://t.co/OiICno4THC— Nathan Baca (@Nathan Baca) 1591143903.0
It was all in response to reports that claimed Trump spent the night in the White House bunker because he was so scared of the unarmed teenagers, students and hippies chanting in the streets. Trump told Fox's Brian Kilmeade he just went down to "inspect" the bunker.
"That is an all-time great excuse," said Colbert. "So, he was just checking to make sure the bunker was okay. 'I didn't poop my pants. I just ran diagnostics on my boxers to see if they were load-bearing. They are.'"
Watch Colbert's opener below: