Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt (R) revealed Wednesday that he is positive for the coronavirus. It could have been the exposure he incurred at the Trump rally. Or it could have been all of those times he went out without a mask saying he was “social distancing.” Either way, it was something “A Late Show” host Stephen Colbert found to be a hilarious example of schadenfreude.
“All the people in charge who told us the pandemic wasn’t a big deal are looking big dumb right now like Oklahoma governor and chunky Dracula Kevin Stitt, cuz remember Trump’s rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma full of unmasked open mouth screamers,” said Colbert. “Lots of people called it a terrible idea, said it should be canceled. Not Governor Stitt.”
In an interview with Fox News, Stitt said that the rally would be “very safe” and that it was the “right time.” He then asked if people didn’t think it was the right time, “When is the right time?”
“Oh, oh! I know, when it won’t kill the audience?” asked Colbert. “So anyway they threw the rally and 6,000 people shouted their aerosolized viruses at each other and Governor Stitt was there without a mask to huff it all in. And now to the governor, the Stitt has hit the fan because earlier today he made this announcement.”
Colbert played Stitt’s confession video, which showed him staring down a screen like a hostage video. He also confessed that he felt “a little bit achy” but so far is fine.
“Well, I would feel achy too if I spent the afternoon banging my head against the wall going, Stitt! You big dummy! Why did you do it!? You did it again! Just like the time you drank that whole jug of creek water because your cousin said it was iced tea! G*ddamn you, you Stitt for brains!”
Colbert did say he hopes Stitt recovers soon and encouraged him to wear a mask because he is now contagious, but also, “because you might want to hide your face in shame for a while.”
Colbert also mocked Florida for doing worse than if there was no governor in office at all.
“In Florida alone, new cases over the past week outstripped the total count in most European nations, that is a shocking vacuum of leadership in a state that I will remind you has an entire hall of presidents,” he said, citing the Disney Hall of Presidents. “Can’t we just plug in an extension cord into one of those old guys and put him in charge?”
See Colbert’s opener below: