Quantcast
Connect with us

Rick Wilson roasts Trump’s debate prep — and predicts none of it ‘will do a damn bit of good’

Published

on

Rick Wilson (MSNBC)

Conservative political strategist Rick Wilson on Tuesday roasted President Donald Trump for seemingly doing nothing to prepare for his upcoming debate with Democratic rival Joe Biden.

Writing in The Daily Beast, Wilson imagined several different scenarios in which both family members and professional campaign staff try to get Trump to prepare for his big debate, while also predicting that none of it “will do a damn bit of good.”

ADVERTISEMENT

In the first scenario, Wilson imagines Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner desperately trying to get the president to prepare even as he ignores them because he’s busy eating McDonald’s.

Eric Trump, meanwhile, is busy playing video games on an Oculus headset and has “already knocked over several priceless historical vases” as he chases virtual woodland creatures around the room.

IVANKA: “Daddy, we need to debate prep.”

JARED: “Sir, if you’ll look at Slide 27 in the deck you’ll see…”

TRUMP: “Shuthafuup weathel, I’m eating.”

IVANKA: “But Dadddddy. Everyone says you’re not ready…”

Don Jr.: “FUCK THOSE PUSSIES. FUCK ’EM. BIDEN IS DEEP STATE, MAN. GOD DAMN, I CAN FEEL MY SKIN MOVING. WHO LET THESE BUGS IN HERE?”

IVANKA: “Don, shut up. Daddy doesn’t need the yelling.”

Don Jr.: “I’M NOT YELLING.”

Eric: “Dad, tell them glue tastes good. It’ll work.”

TRUMP: “Shut up, all of you. I’m trying to do my debate prep minute.”

In a later scene, Trump’s campaign team desperately tries to get him to prepare even as he tries to search for “The Gorilla Channel” on his TV.

At the end of the session, Attorney General Bill Barr suggests the president’s only hope in the debate is declaring martial law.

ADVERTISEMENT

“It’ll be fun,” the attorney general helpfully ads.

Read the whole column here (subscription required).


Report typos and corrections to: [email protected].
READ COMMENTS - JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Continue Reading

2020 Election

Melania Trump’s memoir plans set off an avalanche of brutal title suggestions

Published

on

News from Page Six that first lady Melania Trump is planning on writing a memoir about her time in the White House set off an all too predictable flood of title suggestions on social media that were equal parts brutal and hilarious.

According to Page Six, the first lady is planning to write the book and that the income from it will solely be hers allowing her to cash in the past four years like the rest of the Trump family.

Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

Critics slam Alan Dershowitz after he fights to defend his own questionable reputation

Published

on

Formerly respected attorney Alan Dershowitz shifted into damage control Saturday on Twitter, perhaps in an attempt to win his way back into the dark heart of Donald Trump, at least for the moment.

Dershowitz had been a bad boy earlier this week when he told Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that “if you’re betting money you can’t afford to lose, you have to bet that the outcome of the election will not be reversed.” That couldn’t have pleased the home offices at Mar-A-Lago and Moscow.

Continue Reading
 

2020 Election

Trump is ‘utterly bonkers’: Experts weigh in on bombshell WaPo deep-dive on Trump’s post-election meltdown

Published

on

Experts were shocked by the portrait of President Donald Trump in a bombshell new report.

Posted online by The Washington Post on Saturday night, the story was titled, "20 days of fantasy and failure: Inside Trump’s quest to overturn the election."

Continue Reading