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'People are sometimes sticky': John Oliver explains to magnetic vaccine nuts why keys stick to them
June 13, 2021
This week, a group of people testified at various public meetings in opposition to the COVID-19 vaccine, but one group stood out: those who believe that the vaccine has magnetized them. This hasn't made them super-human, they can't walk into a bank and have a pile of change come flying at them and they were still able to get out of their cars to attend the meeting. Still, an earnest woman wanted to know why a key was sticking to her chest. She had issues getting it to stick anywhere else, however.
"Um, sure, I can explain what this is," Oliver volunteered. "Very basically, public education is horribly underfunded and scientific literacy is nowhere near what it should be in this country. It creates a vacuum of trust in legitimate research. Meanwhile, people tend to try and seek out the minimum amount of information that lets them keep believing what they already believe. In your case, that you're privy to secret knowledge about a government conspiracy to magnetize the people of Ohio. All of that is probably why you felt confident enough to trust some bullsh*t you read online so much that you're willing to look like a complete assh*le in front of all of those people." Indeed, the world.
"Oh," he continued. "And if you just meant the key thing, people are sometimes sticky. We're all kind of moist and gross and keys stick to us sometimes."
That might explain why the key stuck to her chest but not her neck.
See the video explanation below:
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If there's one thing that Fox Business' Stuart Varney does better than anyone, it's using the same cliche over and over and over again and "Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver would really prefer that he stop.
Showing a supercut of Varney segments, he accepted love and adoration from his guests promising "flattery is the mother's milk of television."
The idiom is one that plays on the idea of a mother's milk being what babies are desperate for. As any breastfeeding mother can attest, at times the child looks at you like you're a buffet. But neither Stuart nor his guests are babies and no one is being milked. Nor does anyone want to think of Varney breastfeeding his viewers the opinion of the day.
Oliver mixed the repeated phrase with videos of loving mothers breastfeeding their babies.
Alternatives include: "Flattery will get you everywhere." Or even, "Flattery will get you nowhere, but don't stop trying." He could even alter his standard quote by saying "Flattery is the MyPillow of Fox News," or "your flattery is like the air I breathe, I would die without it" or "your kindness blesses my soul more than my momma's pie." The ideas are limitless.
Check out the video below:
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Columnist blames Trumpism for airplane passenger freakouts increasing 20 times higher than normal
June 13, 2021
CNN political commentator Dean Obeidallah explained that the recent news that another unruly passenger grounded a flight isn't just an occasional thing with a slight uptick in activity. In fact, airplane freak outs have grown to nearly 20 times higher than normal years.
Writing for CNN.com, Obeidallah calculated that it amounts to almost 18 incidents daily.
"Are we just becoming more brutish as a people? Has the isolation caused by Covid-19 restrictions made us less civil?" he asked. "Perhaps. But one other fact about these incidents tells us there may be something else likely contributing to the aggression: Trumpism."
According to the report from the airlines, these passengers lost their minds and turned to violence as a result of the mask mandate.
"Who was it who publicly mocked people for wearing masks? Oh yeah, Donald Trump," he recalled.
he recalled the times Trump refused to wear a mask, the times he mocked a reporter for wearing a mask, and mocked Joe Biden for wearing one as well, despite Trump developing COVID not long after.
What's worse is that he anticipates that this will continue and even grow worse.
"Disturbingly, we can likely expect more incidents involving anti-maskers on planes given that the Transportation Security Administration recently extended the face mask requirement at airports and on board commercial aircraft through September 13," Obeidallah wrote. "These mask haters should know that the penalty for those who engage in unruly behavior could be far more than being just escorted off a flight. The FAA's 'zero-tolerance' policy for such conduct has resulted in the agency seeking fines of $9,000 to $15,000 against individual passengers."
The question, he closed, is whether the penalties will be enough for people to act like adults.
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