I can’t even make a dark joke about the fact that last night’s mass murderer turns out to have been motivated by the worst case of Nice Guy® syndrome on record as of yet. What I will say is I doubt many in the mainstream media, except maybe Bob Herbert, will be willing to tie this crime to the daily violence that women experience that is similarly motivated. George Sodini was angry at the entire world of “desirable” women for not up and volunteering to have sex with him, and every day anonymous men around the country and world beat, rape, and even kill women because said women were also considered insufficiently compliant, often to unstated demands that women were supposed to just anticipate and fill without complaint. Today, women will be raped or beaten or maybe even killed for choosing to do differently than a man desired of them—everything from screwing up the household chores to being deemed a tease to thinking they had a right to go to this party/walk down this alley to leaving a man who wants them to stay. But most people won’t see Sodini’s crime as different by degree, but by kind, because unlike most men who commit this kind of hate crime against women, Sodini didn’t know his victims.
We’re going to write him off as crazy. But the thing is that “crazy” doesn’t mean completely detached from the world, at least most of the time. Sodini wasn’t one of those people who is so wrapped up in their delusions that they can’t hold a job and need to be kept in an institution. In fact, what’s disturbing about his diary entries is that they sound pretty much like the same ranting you get from every misogynist who thinks he’s a Nice Guy®, and who hates women for their perceived malicious unwillingness to have sex with him.
Anna at Jezebel has discovered that at least some in the “pick-up artist” community haven’t missed out on the connection, which is a nice way to say that they feel sorry for Sodini and are also eager to blame all of womankind for viewing our bodies and lives as for ourselves, instead of for the pleasure of men. PUA blogger Roissy suggests that all Sodini needed was to learn “The Game”, which is basically a pick-up artist strategy promoted by this douchebag. Having applied ye ol’ skeptical skills to The Game, I figured out that the trick to it is to convince the men following it to hit on everyone in sight, and maybe with a little extra confidence. The way that The Game gives you the confidence to do this is by reinforcing your Nice Guy® belief that women are all complete morons who hate themselves (as you hate them). PUAs justify this nastiness by saying that the guys who “need” their help have low self-esteem around women and need more confidence. And it probably is true that telling yourself that women are dumb bunnies who are easy to manipulate and who deserve it for years of not giving you what you deserve as a man will indeed boost your confidence….around women. Needless to say, this logic extrapolated beyond the strict rules the PUAs lay out would lead one to conclude that smacking a woman will give you a boost of confidence in your own powers as a man, as well. Which isn’t to say that PUAs are more or less likely to be wife beaters than other men, just to point out that self-pitying excuses for using sexism to boost your own ego is, as far as I can tell, always wrong.
Anyway, Roissy is deeply sorry that a murderer like Sodini didn’t get more play:
When men kill women, the underlying reason is almost always an unfulfilled psychosexual need. This goes for spree shooters, rapists, and serial killers. I’m not surprised Sodini hadn’t had sex in nearly 20 years. As I’ve written before, to men on the losing side of the desireability bell curve celibacy is walking death and anything is justified in avoiding that miserable fate.
I don’t want to accuse him of saying that celibacy relief through rape, spree shooting and serial killing is justified, but it kind of seems like he said that.
If Sodini had learned game he would have been able to find another woman and gotten laid after his ex dumped him. He wouldn’t have spent the next 20 years steeped in bile and weighed down by his Sisyphian blue balls, dreaming of vengeance. Game could have saved the lives of the women Sodini killed.
His last girlfriend was around twenty years ago. After twenty years of rejection by women, he finally had the courage to take his revenge by shooting at members of the sex who rejected him and made him feel like a loser.
No, “courage” would be just killing himself before he killed a bunch of innocent women. But of course, in these assholes’ world, there aren’t innocent women. The world is full of malicious women who show their hatred of men by not fucking them personally, and therefore “anything” is justified to relieve their horrible celibacy.
Sodini’s crime did not happen in a vacuum. It’s not even close to the first of its kind. The Amish school shooting a couple of years ago was in the same category of crimes, as was the Platte Canyon High School shooting in the same fall. The most famous was the École Polytechnique Massacre in 1989, when Marc Lépine killed 14 women because he blamed feminism for his personal failures.
Shocking crimes like these are almost too easy to write off as aberrant. And they are, like I said, in degree, but not in kind. Every day, there are women subjected to the same standard—that they owe their obedience, body, and life to a man—by some individual man who feels he has a claim, because he married her, dated her, fathered her, lives with her, thought she was flirting with him, or was mad that she was not.