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’We need to close ranks — like the mafia!’: SNL roasts Giuliani and Pompeo’s panic over Ukraine scandal

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NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” ridiculed the Trump administration’s ham-handed reaction to the growing foreign election interference scandal at the center of the impeachment inquiry.

The cold-open skit began with Vice President Mike Pence meeting with Donald Trump defense lawyer Rudy Giuliani and Attorney General Bill Barr.

“As you know, this impeachment farce is growing worse by the day. And now a second whistle-blower is coming forward,” Pence warned.

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The attorney general read SNL’s version of one of the text messages sent between Trump administration officials.

“I think we should stop texting about the crimes and maybe tell the crimes over the phone so that the crimes don’t leave little crime footprints,” the message read.

The three were then joined by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who was portrayed by Matthew Broderick.

The former New York City mayor attempted to cheer up the officials by sharing the results of a “Breitbart Office Poll” that showed 121% of respondents think Joe Biden should be impeached.

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“Breitbart Office Poll” results on SNL (screengrab)

“Listen, guys, we’re going to just fine,” Giuliani said. “We need to close ranks, you know? Like the mafia.”

“Uh, yeah, except the mafia was like, smart,” Pompeo noted. “They didn’t go on Fox News and tell people the crimes before they did them.”

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The group discussed fleeing the country to North Korea or Saudi Arabia — the only two countries that would take them.

Stephen Miller also made an appearance, as a snake.

And Rudy Giuliani showed up in clown make-up after an appearance on Sean Hannity.

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Watch:

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GOP’s reliance on white Christians has made its extinction inevitable: conservative

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Demographic trends don't bode well for the Republican Party.

Writing in the Washington Post, conservative columnist Jennifer Rubin points out that the GOP's reliance on old, white voters and Christians makes its eventual extinction inevitable. "After a while ... you run out of white evangelicals. That is precisely what is happening at an unexpectedly speedy pace," Rubin writes.

According to a recent Pew poll, there's been a 12 percent drop in the past decade of people who described themselves as Christian. "The ranks of the most progressive segment of the electorate, religiously unaffiliated ("atheist, agnostic or "nothing in particular’ ") have risen to 26 percent, a nine-point bump since 2009," Rubin writes.

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Trump flayed for self-pitying whine about how hard it is being president: ‘Resign — you won’t be missed’

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President Donald Trump on Friday bitterly complained about the purported ill treatment he's received as president of the United States.

In an angry tweet, the president bemoaned having to deal with House Democrats' impeachment inquiry at the same time he's trying to do unspecified "important work" for the United States.

"Can you believe I am doing this important work for our Country, and have to deal with Corrupt Adam Schiff and the Do Nothing Democrats at the same time?" the president wrote. "It was not intended to be this way for a President!"

Can you believe I am doing this important work for our Country, and have to deal with Corrupt Adam Schiff and the Do Nothing Democrats at the same time? It was not intended to be this way for a President!

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Kellyanne Conway accused of violating Hatch Act at least 50 times this year — on Twitter alone

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According to a report from Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway has "surpassed 50 violations of the Hatch Act on Twitter alone this past year."

Explaining the numbers, the report states, "CREW’s report on Conway’s continued violations outlines five categories of tweets that violate the Hatch Act: attacking or mocking Democratic presidential candidates, attacking the Democratic Party, promoting President Trump's re-election, promoting the Republican Party, and attacking President Trump's political adversaries. Conway has multiple violations in each category," before noting that Twitter's Terms of Service indicates one of Trump's closest aides is in violation and should have her account suspended.

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