With the nuclear-powered slap fight between the absolutely revoting Elon Musk and even more revolting Donald Trump continuing to fixate America, I’ll tell you how it ends.
This prediction is based on more than a decade’s worth of experience watching these two decadent slobs in the public eye, and is more reliable than any of the 14,000 polls, and 411,000 partisan influencers out there who are generally wrong about literally everything.
In the next few days, and maybe even before I am done publishing this blast, these two narcissistic gasbags will make a very public deal out of hugging it out in a never-ending series of social media posts that will put millions of eyes on their platforms, and millions of dollars in their bottomless pockets, while they heroically tell their tale of two titans of industry who have just battled through and survived a tremendous, spectacular, terrifying, incredible struggle that nobody has ever seen before.
The press will buy into all this hook, line and sinker, and will run endless stories of the fantastic, wild, fascinating terrific struggle, and the rest of us will be back to where we were before, but actually never left: living in a country in historic decline, where human rights are worth as much as a discarded wrapper from a hamburger inhaled by the America-attacking Trump, and Musk will be doing God knows what with all our personal information he has accumulated after being given free rein in our government.
Right-wing media will trumpet “Hail to the Victors” and Democrats will be pointing at the smoking carnage of what was, while what is actually happening is even worse than it was 24 hours before.
Two weeks from now all this will be forgotten, and we will be smack in the middle of the next existential crisis that will demand all of our time, while even more of our rights have been incinerated, and billionaires like Trump and Musk have even more of our money.
In short: all this is a really horrid show, because each of these demented sickos know that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all. Both have been suffering loudly with their self-important approval ratings, and know that most idiots in America love a breakup and reconciliation story — even if it features two of the most ghastly people who have ever been hatched.
As long as they are both being talked about, they can kick their feet up and live comfortably inside their fat, miserable racist heads.
Are you not entertained?
Me?
I miss Joe Biden.
(D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. You can find all his work here.)
