If there's one thing politics brings out it's the non-apology apology. Such is the case with racist Donald Trump supporters who have been caught assaulting African Americans in his rallies. It must be something they're learning from the man himself, because the "sorry, not sorry" non-apology is something Trump has mastered from the beginning of the campaign. Seth Meyers nails them all on in Wednesday's "Late Night."
The Louisville Trump rally where an older white veteran shoved an African American woman out of a rally went viral and the public shamed the man for his actions. The man recently issued an apology saying, "This was a very unfortunate incident and it is my sincere hope that I can be forgiven for my actions." It didn't stop there, however, "people in the crowd began pushing and shoving the protester. At one point I was physically knocked down and fell on the ground, losing my jacket," the statement continued.
"I'm sorry I did that racist thing," Seth Meyers said mocking the man. "'But, you guys, I just lost my jacket! That jacket meant the world to me. It was given to me by a white person!' But I hear ya, pal. This weekend I couldn't find my sunglasses and I clotheslined a nun."
Then there's the non-apology "I'm sorry you misunderstood me." Last week, an Idaho sheriff told the world it was impossible to process rape kits because a majority of the rapes called in aren't actually rapes. His apology was a classic "you misunderstood me." He released a statement saying, "The meaning behind my statement that has been misunderstood is that when a case is called into the dispatch center each and every one is thoroughly investigated." Which sounds nothing like "the majority of rapes called in are consensual sex." Not even close.
"Buddy! That's the opposite of your original statement," Meyers said. "That's like putting on a wizard's hat and saying, 'Who me?! I'm a muggle. You got me all wrong.'"
Then there's the "I'm sorry if you were offended" non-apology. Republican presidential candidate John Kasich dug himself into a hole when he said "women left their kitchens to campaign for him." Women from both sides of the aisle were furious, so Kasich was forced into the "sorry you're mad," apology. He told CNN, "I'm more than happy to say I'm sorry if I offended somebody out there but it wasn't intended to be offensive."
"Of course people were offended!" Meyers said. "It's like Kasich is on medication and one of the side effects is 1952-mouth." The worst thing is he didn't stop with that non-apology. He also rocked the "I'm sorry, but you should know I have [insert insulted demographic here] friends." Kasich named off all of the women in his life hoping somehow the fact that he knows them would make his chauvinist statements forgivable.
One convicted felon even sang his apology to the court in what could reasonably be a solid audition tape for "The Voice." Perhaps his genuine apology could teach some of the Trump supporters how a real apology actually works.
